Most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are.
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July 13, 2020 at 1:55 pm
Most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are.
Nowadays with the rapid development of media, advertisements have witnessed an unprecedented boom in recent years. To win the fierce competition and make their products more impressive than their competitor, companies always choose to exaggerate the quality of their products. Consequently, it is a common phenomenon that products in advertisement seem much better than in practice.
To begin with, advertisers may purposely highlight merits about their products to attract audiences buying their products. For the one hand, they may use special effects to make the products more beautiful and attractive, for the other hand, some celebrities are hired to endorse the products, which can convince masses how useful or effective their products are. For example, I used to watch a TV commercial about a kind of bread that can help people loose weight. The advertisement stated that the bread was low in fat and sugar, their products could also make consumer eat less if they eat their bread before lunch or dinner. A slim actress also spoke for this bread, saying that she kept in fit by eating it everyday. However, my sister bought the bread and eat it as lunch everyday, but she put on weight one month later.
Furthermore, in order to establish a good image before the public, the defects of products may not be displayed in commercials. We only know the advantages of the products and are not informed of the shortcomings, which make products seem better in advertisement. My own experience may illustrate this idea. Last semester, I bought a new PC. I was attracted by its fancy screen and efficiency showed in the commercial. However, when I received this computer, I found its keyboard wasn’t user-friendly and it had a limited color range of the screen and I totally didn’t know about it from the advertisement.
In conclusion, I believe it’s reasonable for producers to make their products look like better in advertisement in consideration of their own benefits. Consequently, when we were purchasing products, we can get some suggestion and comments from the buyers to avoid some products with poor quality.
July 13, 2020 at 10:37 pmScore: ungraded
Issues:
- About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
July 15, 2020 at 3:00 pmWith the rapid development of media, advertisements have reached unprecedented prosperity in recent years. To make greater profits, companies always choose to exaggerate the quality of their products. As a result, products in advertisements always seem much better than in practice.
To begin with, advertisers may highlight merits about their products to attract audiences. On the one hand, they may use special effects to make the products more beautiful and attractive. On the other hand, some celebrities endorse the products, which can convince masses how useful or fantastic their products are. For example, I used to watch a TV commercial about a kind of bread that can help people lose weight. The advertisement stated that the bread was low in fat and sugar. Their products could also make consumers eat less if they eat this special bread before lunch or dinner. A slim actress also spoke for this bread, saying that she kept fit by eating it. However, my sister bought the bread and eat it at lunch every day, but she put on weight one month later.
Furthermore, to establish a positive image before the public, the defects of products may not be displayed in commercials. We only know the advantages of the products and are not informed of the shortcomings. My own experience may illustrate this idea. Last semester, I bought a new PC. I was attracted by its fancy screen and efficiency shown in the commercial. However, when I received this computer, I found its keyboard wasn’t user-friendly. What’s more, it had a limited color range of the screen. I totally didn’t know about these disadvantages from the advertisement.
In conclusion, it’s reasonable for producers to make their products look better in consideration of their own benefits. Consequently, it’s advisable for us to ask for some suggestions from buyers before we purchasing products.
July 16, 2020 at 1:10 pmWith the rapid development of media, advertisements have reached unprecedented prosperity (unclear word choice) in recent years. To make greater profits, companies always (too absolute) choose to exaggerate the quality of their products. As a result, products in advertisements always (too absolute) seem much better than in practice (unclear sentence).
To begin with, advertisers may highlight merits (missing article) about (preposition error) their products to attract audiences (singular). On the (article error) one hand, they (unclear pronoun) may use special effects to make the (article error) products more beautiful and attractive. On the other hand, some (unnecessary) celebrities endorse the (article error) products, which can convince (missing article) masses how useful or fantastic (use different word) their products are. For example, I used to watch a TV commercial about a kind of bread that can help people lose weight (simplify). The advertisement stated that (unnecessary) the bread was low in fat and sugar. Their products could (verb tense error) also make consumers eat less if they eat (verb tense error) this special bread before lunch or dinner. A slim actress also spoke for (use different verb phrase) this bread, saying that she kept fit by eating it. However, my sister bought the bread and eat (verb tense error) it at (preposition error) lunch every day, but she put on weight one month later.
Furthermore, to establish a positive image before the public (simplify), the defects of products may not be displayed in commercials. We only know (use different verb) the advantages of the products and are not informed of the (any) shortcomings. My own experience may illustrate this idea. (unnecessary sentence, instead start next sentence with “For example,”) Last semester, I bought a new PC. I was attracted by its fancy screen and efficiency shown in the commercial. (combine two previous sentences) However, when I received this computer, I found its keyboard wasn’t user-friendly. What’s more, it had a limited color range of the screen (word choice). (combine two previous sentences) I totally (word choice) didn’t know about these disadvantages from the advertisement.
In conclusion, it’s reasonable for producers to make their products look better in consideration of their own benefits (rephrase). Consequently, it’s advisable for us to ask for some suggestions from buyers before we purchasing products (unclear, be more specific/detailed).
