People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable, but many traditional values and customs have been lost and this is a pity. 

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable, but many traditional values and customs have been lost and this is a pity. 

  • zqqm112233
    University: The North University Of China
    Nationality: China
    March 7, 2021 at 1:07 am

    People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable, but many traditional values and customs have been lost and this is a pity. 

    Recently, people around the word devote more energy to their work to get more money and buy more things and forget the traditional values and customs. In my opinion, people should cherish traditional values and customs instead of the hard-working.

    The hard-working have a lot of disadvantages in our routine live.the adequate material can’t make people’s heart colorful and it may make people more anxious or upset. Sometimes, people may have to sleep after 12’o’clock at night, which will destroy people’s health. Moreover, the heavy work may make people can’t take care of their own family, which may makes the whole family broken. For example, the software engineers always have a busy work to get more money, but they don’t have time to enjoy the life, which makes them solo, unhealthy and always feel unhappy.

    On the other hand, tradition values and customs benefit people a lot. As we all know, Traditional activity is interesting and meaningful which makes people lose the pressure in their daily work. Meanwhile, it also gives your body a good vacation to have a rest. Moreover, it is the time people will repair the relationship between their relatives and themselves. For example, The Spring Festival in China, is a nice day for people to forgive each other and enjoy their life with family members.

    In conclusion, tradition values and customs shouldn’t be abandoned because of the hard-working.

     

     

    zqqm112233
    University: The North University Of China
    Nationality: China
    March 7, 2021 at 1:21 am

    ‘he heavy work may make people can’t take care of their own family’,’make’ in this sentence should be changed to ‘makes’.’make people heart colorful’This may not be very good.

    March 7, 2021 at 4:34 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. Many zero-conditional sentences;
    3. Lots of grammatical/article errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    zqqm112233
    University: The North University Of China
    Nationality: China
    March 7, 2021 at 10:13 am

    People around the world devoting more energy in their work to buy more things forget the traditional values and customs. In my opinion, people should cherish traditional values and customs instead of too much hard-working.

    Too much hard-working would make the countless trouble for our family,healthy and so on.The adequate material can’t make human mental world colorful and it may makes people more anxious. Sometimes, people may have to sleep after 12’o’clock at night, which will destroy people’s health. Moreover, the heavy work may makes people can’t take care of their own family, which may makes the whole family broken. For example, software engineers is always busy at work ,which makes them have high suicide rate.

    On the other hand, traditional values and customs bring people enormous benefits to help them live a better life. As we all know, Traditional activity is interesting and meaningful which makes people lose the pressure in their daily work. Meanwhile, it also gives your body a good vacation to have a rest or go to hospital for treatment. Moreover,This is the perfect time that people could repair and strengthen their relationship between their relatives and themselves. For example, The Spring Festival of China is a nice day for people to forgive each other and enjoy their life with family members.

    In conclusion, the proper hardworking which can generate enormous wealth is significant in our normal life.But we can’t forget that traditional values and customs also play a central role in our lives.

    March 8, 2021 at 10:42 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. Lots of grammatical errors;
    3. Sentences are difficult to read.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.