Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but other people think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen at TV and the Internet.
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October 15, 2019 at 12:52 pm
IELTS Writing Topic: Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but other people think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen at TV and the Internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The Information Ara has made distance no longer the obstacle to learn about the outside world, thus aroused a heated discussion on whether it is necessary to travel abroad or not. Personally, my preference goes with the supportive notion.
It is indisputable that there are numerous resources to have a glance of foreign countries available including literature, pictures, videos, Panoramic Map and 3D city models, even Virtual Reality. With the multiple and free accesses comes to the popularity of E-Travel, which is regarded as both a time-saving and economical approach to satisfy your curiosities since real travel definitely involves detailed preparations and time wasted on transport, let alone considerable money.
Yet this does not mean tourism will no long be needed. In fact, visiting other places may bring tangible and intangible benefits which are impossible to obtain according to virtual experience. Here are three main reasons. First, cold technology can never give you warmth of interpersonal contact which plays an indispensable role in our life’s experience. The scenarios you witness, the person you may meet and the story you will go through and local cuisine you could taste are unexpectable and unique, which is far different from what your awareness based on virtual information.
Besides, information acquired from the Internet may be incomplete or even mistaken, reflecting only the perspectives or attitudes of people who give the information. For example, you may feel frustrated, for example, when you try to find out the real sceneries while most pictures are from a similar angel and photoshopped.
In a nutshell, even people can pay a virtual visit to any corner of the world, they still need to explore the real world in order to gain personal valuable experience, learn the authentic culture and local lives and avoid being misled and incomplete information from the Internet or TV programs.
(305 words)
October 15, 2019 at 12:53 pmHere is the topic
Some people think it’s necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries. However, other people think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen at TV and the Internet. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.
October 18, 2019 at 3:39 amIELTS Writing Topic: Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but other people think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen at TV and the Internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Score: 42.5
Major issues:
- Excessive number of passive sentences;
- Many sentences exceed 20 words.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate problems/errors with your essay.
Regards,
Lin Qiu
October 19, 2019 at 1:33 amThe Information Ara has made distance no longer the obstacle to learning about the outside world. This aroused a heated discussion on whether it is necessary to travel abroad or not, and my preference goes with the supportive notion.
It is indisputable that there are numerous resources to appreciate foreign culture and scenery including literature, pictures, videos, Panoramic Map, and 3D city models, even Virtual Reality. With these free resources comes the popularity of e-Travel. To those economically disadvantaged people, surfing online is both time-saving and money-saving approach to satisfy their curiosities about strange countries.
Yet this does not mean tourism will no longer be needed. Visiting other places may bring tangible and intangible benefits that are impossible to gain from screens and loudspeakers. Here are three main reasons. First, cold technology can never give you warmth of interpersonal contact which plays an indispensable role in our life’s experience. To illustrate, only by merging yourself in local lives can you get the essence of the culture, while second-hand materials are merely superficial and pale.
In addition, information acquired from the Internet may be incomplete or even mistaken, reflecting only the perspectives or attitudes of people who give the information. For example, you may feel frustrated, when you try to find out the real sceneries while most pictures are from a similar angel and photoshopped.
In a nutshell, even if people can pay a virtual visit to any corner of the world, they still need to explore in reality, thereby gaining valuable personal experience, learning the authentic culture and local lives and avoiding being misled by incomplete information from the Internet or TV programs.
October 24, 2019 at 2:06 amScore: 44.3
[It appears you didn’t fix the major issues I mentioned last time. ]
- Split/shorten sentences exceeding 20 words;
- Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts.
The Information [ conventions error ] Ara [spelling/formality ] has made distance no longer the [ article error ] obstacle to [ wrong preposition ] learning about the outside world. This [ unclear pronoun ] aroused a heated discussion [ factual inconsistency ] on whether it is necessary to travel abroad or not, and my preference goes with the supportive notion [ unclear ] .
It is indisputable that [ redundant ] there are [ redundant ] numerous resources to appreciate foreign culture and scenery including literature, pictures, videos, [ wrong position ] Panoramic Map, [ conventions error ] and 3D city models,[ conventions error ] even Virtual Reality[ conventions error ] . With these free resources comes the popularity of e-Travel[ conventions error ] . [ grammatical error] To those economically disadvantaged people, surfing online is both [ article error ] time-saving and money-saving approach to satisfy their[ unclear pronoun ] curiosities about strange countries.
Yet this [ unclear pronoun ] does not mean tourism will no longer be needed[ passive ] . Visiting other places may bring tangible and intangible benefits that are impossible to gain from screens and loudspeakers. Here are three main reasons. [ redundant ] First, cold technology can never give you [ article error ] warmth of interpersonal contact which[ wrong pronoun ] plays an indispensable role in our life’s experience[ redundant/lives ] . To illustrate, only by merging yourself[ shift of person ] in local lives can you [ shift of person ] get the essence of the culture, while second-hand materials are merely superficial [ unclear ] and pale[ unclear ] .
In addition, information acquired from the Internet may be incomplete or even mistaken, reflecting only the perspectives or attitudes of people who give the information. For example, you [ shift of pronoun ] may feel frustrated,[ punctuation error ] when you try to find out the real sceneries while most pictures are from a similar angel [ unclear ] and photoshopped[ unclear ] .
In a nutshell, even if people can[ grammatical error ] pay a virtual visit to any corner of the world, they still need to explore[ logical incompleteness ] in reality, thereby gaining valuable personal experience, learning the authentic culture and local lives and avoiding being misled by [ passive ] incomplete information from the Internet or TV programs.
October 24, 2019 at 5:56 amAdvanced telecommunication technology has made it possible to get information about different notions and countries. Many people argue that it is no longer necessary to travel abroad in person, while others take the position that physical travel can’t be replaced by surfing the internet.
Obviously, numerous resources are available to appreciate foreign culture and scenery through TV programs, the Internet and even Virtual Reality devices. For example, BBC provides various documentaries about nature scenery, wild animals, city tours, and festival events all around the world. With vivid scenarios and professional asides, it is a great channel to learn foreign countries in different aspects.
The reason against traveling also involves in heavy cost both in money and time. Although international trips are becoming affordable for many people, they are still an economic burden for the common, let alone the impoverished. Moreover, time cost tends to be a predominant obstacle in modern society, especially for those who have busy work, are not able to spare time on the airplane.
Despite the convenience to acquire information online and demerits of traveling, there are still many advocates of travelling physically to learn about a foreign country. These people believe that visiting other places brings about tangible and intangible benefits that are impossible to gain from screens and loudspeakers. Firstly, traveling gives one opportunity to communicate and interact with locals and even make new friends, which is one special and interesting part that attracts travelers. Moreover, such traveling experience could broaden one’s mind and let him explore local culture by immerging himself in local customs and lifestyles. And it is influential in his life invisibly to some extent.
The travel advocates are also concerned that information acquired from the Internet may be incomplete or even mistaken, reflecting only the perspectives or attitudes of people who give the information. In this way, they would go to the ideal places in real life rather than learning from others’ views.
In a nutshell, even if people could pay a virtual visit to any corner of the world, they still need to explore foreign countries in reality, thereby gaining valuable personal experience, learning the authentic culture and avoiding misleading information from the Internet or TV programs.
October 28, 2019 at 3:35 amScore: 40.5
Spend several days learning these: https://writersforme.com/forums/topic/toefl-and-ielts-writing-tips/
Issue: Most sentences exceed 20 words. You MUST resolve this problem.
IELTS Writing Topic: Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but other people think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen at TV and the Internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Advanced telecommunication technology [ word form error/technologies ]has [ have ] made it possible to get [ informal word ] information about different notions and countries. Many people argue that it is no longer necessary to travel abroad in person [ lack logical connection from the prior sentence ], while others take the position [ redundant/believe ] that physical travel can’t be replaced by surfing the internet.
Obviously, numerous resources are available to appreciate [article error ] foreign culture and scenery through TV programs [ redundant – repeat Numerous Resources ], the Internet and even Virtual Reality [lower letter error ] devices. For example, BBC provides various documentaries about nature scenery [ redundant ], wild animals, city tours, and festival events all around the world. With vivid scenarios and professional asides, it [ unclear pronoun ] is a great channel to learn foreign countries in different aspects.
The reason against traveling also involves in [ preposition error ] heavy cost both in money [ redundant ]and time. Although international trips are becoming affordable for many people, they [ pronoun error/trips or people? ] are still an economic burden for the common [ unclear word], let alone the impoverished. Moreover, time cost tends to be a predominant obstacle in modern society, especially for those who have busy work, are not able to spare time on the airplane [ grammatical error/redundant].
Despite the convenience to acquire information online and demerits of traveling, there are still many advocates of [ wrong preposition ]travelling physically [ redundant ] to learn about a foreign country. These people believe that visiting other places brings about tangible and intangible benefits that are impossible to gain from screens and loudspeakers. Firstly, traveling gives one opportunity to communicate and interact with locals and even make new friends, which is one special and interesting part that attracts travelers. Moreover, such [ article error ]traveling experience could broaden one’s mind and let him/her explore local culture by immerging [spelling error ]himself in local customs and lifestyles. And [ coordinating word error/punctuation error ] it [ unclear pronoun ] is influential in his life invisibly to some extent.
The travel advocates are also concerned that information acquired from the Internet may be incomplete or even mistaken, reflecting only the perspectives or attitudes [redundant ]of people who give the information. In this way, they [ unclear pronoun ]would go to the ideal places in real life rather than learning from others’ views.
In a nutshell, even if people could pay a virtual visit to any corner of the world, they still need to explore foreign countries in reality, thereby gaining valuable personal experience, learning the authentic culture and avoiding misleading information from the Internet or TV programs.
