Reply To: The general welfare of a nation’s people is a better indication of that nation’s greatness than are the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. GRE Writing The general welfare of a nation’s people is a better indication of that nation’s greatness than are the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists. Reply To: The general welfare of a nation’s people is a better indication of that nation’s greatness than are the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists.

Administrator
University: University of Wisconsin
October 15, 2020 at 2:29 pm

Score: ungraded

Issues:

  1. About 80% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
  2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
  3. Wordy – remove unnecessary words and phrases and simplify sentences

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.