Reply To: It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. Reply To: It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation.

October 15, 2020 at 8:52 pm

Score: ungraded

Issues:

  1. About 75% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
  2. About 75% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
  3. Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.