Reply To: The university will spend money on a dormitory to improve the life quality of students, which of the following do you think is the best way?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. › TOEFL Writing › The university will spend money on a dormitory to improve the life quality of students, which of the following do you think is the best way? › Reply To: The university will spend money on a dormitory to improve the life quality of students, which of the following do you think is the best way?

EuStemJobs Grant Seeker
Administrator
University: University of Wisconsin
October 25, 2020 at 12:15 am

Score: ungraded

Issues:

  1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
  2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.