Reply To: Do you agree that movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. › TOEFL Writing › Do you agree that movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave › Reply To: Do you agree that movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave

EuStemJobs Grant Seeker
Administrator
University: University of Wisconsin
November 2, 2020 at 10:46 pm

Score: ungraded

Issues:

  1. About 65% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
  2. About 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
  3. Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.