Reply To: People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. › TOEFL Writing › People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? › Reply To: People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university?

EuStemJobs Grant Seeker
Administrator
University: University of Wisconsin
December 5, 2020 at 3:03 am

Score: ungraded

Issues:

  1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
  2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
  3. Remove bolding of words
  4. Word choice errors

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.