Reply To: High school requires students (aged 16-17) to choose an activity to attend in the summer holiday

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. › TOEFL Writing › High school requires students (aged 16-17) to choose an activity to attend in the summer holiday › Reply To: High school requires students (aged 16-17) to choose an activity to attend in the summer holiday

EuStemJobs Grant Seeker
Administrator
University: University of Wisconsin
December 5, 2020 at 3:13 am

Score: 52.8

Issues:

  1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
  2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
  3. Preposition errors
  4. Article errors
  5. State your argument clearly in the introduction and provide some supporting information: Why is one better than the other?

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.