Reply To: Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork. Reply To: Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork.

Administrator
University: University of Wisconsin
December 12, 2020 at 5:07 pm

Score: ungraded

Issues:

  1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
  2. About 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.