Reply To: What is the most effective action for individuals to improve the environment? 1）Walking and bicycling instead of driving private cars to work or school; 2）Recycling or reusing objects instead of throwing them in the trash; 3）Buying locally grown organic products.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. › TOEFL Writing › What is the most effective action for individuals to improve the environment? 1）Walking and bicycling instead of driving private cars to work or school; 2）Recycling or reusing objects instead of throwing them in the trash; 3）Buying locally grown organic products. › Reply To: What is the most effective action for individuals to improve the environment? 1）Walking and bicycling instead of driving private cars to work or school; 2）Recycling or reusing objects instead of throwing them in the trash; 3）Buying locally grown organic products.

EuStemJobs Grant Seeker
Administrator
University: University of Wisconsin
December 12, 2020 at 5:59 pm

Score: 58.3

Issues:

  1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
  2. About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
  3. Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.