Reply To: The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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University: University of Wisconsin
Whether the rules for teenagers and youth today are too strict has triggered a heated discussion.[Write in your own words ] In many adults’ views, (it is)[ unclear and redundant – remove the words and rewrite the sentence ] accurate and essential for young people to follow and obey social rules. However, contrary to their opinions, (the rule that societies expect us to follow)[ whose position?] is so [ so…that ] strict and hard to accept.
Due to the[ article error ] large population, (people in China)[wordy ] own limited education [word form error ] resources and[wrong conjunction word ] compete fiercely for entering
[ wrong word] excellent [prestigious ] universities[Factual error/This is an example; use it subsequent to a topic sentence ] . Education makes everyone nervous[ factual error ] , including[misplaced word ] teachers and parents, not to mention students. Under such [ article error ] situation, young people must be self-disciplined[ factual error ] in the study and possess[ unparalleled ] less enjoyable time. Students in the school have plenty of homework to do, whether on weekdays or weekends[logical confusion ] . What’s more, some rules ban a wide range of things[ vague word ] and then cut [ logical confusion ] students’ relaxing time. For example, (puppy love is not allowed in both school rule and social rule)[ unclear ] . To follow the rule, boys and girls need to keep some distance from each other, preventing misunderstanding by other classmates. (Mobile phones are always forbidden playing)[grammatical error ] by students on the[article error ] campus, which weakens their [unclear pronoun ] social skills and make[grammatical error ] them tired.
Some society[ word form error ] also makes some unspoken (rules of gender stereotypes)[ unclear ] , limiting people’s interest and professional development. For instance, women are expected to learn literature while men are supposed to contribute to science and technology[absolute statement ] . Women who major[ wrong word ] in [ article error ] technology field are always[absolute statement ] worried about their career development, [ punctuation error ] because human resource managers prefer to recruit male employees. When in [ article error ] interview[ when/in redundant ] , employers are likely to believe that (workers of a gender )[unclear ] can behave better than the other gender, (which regards)[grammatical error ] as gender stereotypes. Nevertheless, such rules are incorrect and unfair, which limited[grammatical error ] career choice and is [unparalleled ] strict for young people.
In conclusion, the rules which societies expect (younger)[ word form error] to follow
nowadays are too strict and unreasonable to obey, whether in the school or the workplace.