Reply To: The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. › TOEFL Writing › The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. › Reply To: The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Whether the rules for teenagers and youth today are too strict has triggered a heated discussion.[Write in your own words ] In many adults’ views, (it is)[ unclear and redundant – remove the words and rewrite the sentence ] accurate and essential for young people to follow and obey social rules. However, contrary to their opinions, (the rule that societies expect us to follow)[ whose position?] is so [ so…that ] strict and hard to accept.
Due to the[ article error ] large population, (people in China)[wordy ] own limited education [word form error ] resources and[wrong conjunction word ] compete fiercely for entering
[ wrong word] excellent [prestigious ] universities[Factual error/This is an example; use it subsequent to a topic sentence ] . Education makes everyone nervous[ factual error ] , including[misplaced word ] teachers and parents, not to mention students. Under such [ article error ] situation, young people must be self-disciplined[ factual error ] in the study and possess[ unparalleled ] less enjoyable time. Students in the school have plenty of homework to do, whether on weekdays or weekends[logical confusion ] . What’s more, some rules ban a wide range of things[ vague word ] and then cut [ logical confusion ] students’ relaxing time. For example, (puppy love is not allowed in both school rule and social rule)[ unclear ] . To follow the rule, boys and girls need to keep some distance from each other, preventing misunderstanding by other classmates. (Mobile phones are always forbidden playing)[grammatical error ] by students on the[article error ] campus, which weakens their [unclear pronoun ] social skills and make[grammatical error ] them tired.
Some society[ word form error ] also makes some unspoken (rules of gender stereotypes)[ unclear ] , limiting people’s interest and professional development. For instance, women are expected to learn literature while men are supposed to contribute to science and technology[absolute statement ] . Women who major[ wrong word ] in [ article error ] technology field are always[absolute statement ] worried about their career development, [ punctuation error ] because human resource managers prefer to recruit male employees. When in [ article error ] interview[ when/in redundant ] , employers are likely to believe that (workers of a gender )[unclear ] can behave better than the other gender, (which regards)[grammatical error ] as gender stereotypes. Nevertheless, such rules are incorrect and unfair, which limited[grammatical error ] career choice and is [unparalleled ] strict for young people.
In conclusion, the rules which societies expect (younger)[ word form error] to follow
nowadays are too strict and unreasonable to obey, whether in the school or the workplace.