Reply To: Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Reply To: Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Administrator
University: University of Wisconsin
December 15, 2020 at 5:42 pm

Score: ungraded

Issues:

  1. About 100% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Most of them are unnecessarily lengthy. Simplify or split them.
  2. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. In consideration of sentence coherence, the subject of a sentence better echoes the subject, or the object, of the prior sentence. The subject of a passive sentence, however, often fails to do so, which severely damages the logical flow between sentences.
  3. Lengthy essay. Shorten your essay to 300 – 320 words.
  4. Lots of grammatical errors.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.