Reply To: Some people think that children obey rules and do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. GRE Writing Some people think that children obey rules and do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Reply To: Some people think that children obey rules and do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood.

Administrator
University: University of Wisconsin
January 10, 2021 at 7:57 pm

Score: ungraded

Issues:

  1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
  2. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. 

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.