Reply To: Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. 

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.  Reply To: Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. 

January 13, 2021 at 9:23 pm

People have different views about which type of progress is the most important for a country. While some people believe [/argue  ] that economic progress [ repetition ] (is the most significant)[ use verb phrase to replace BE phrase ] , I think progress[ repetition ] in other aspects is also crucial for a country[repetiton  ] .

On the one hand, I agree that economic progress is of great importance[ logically incomplete ] . [missing a transitory word  ] Developments[word form error  ] in any other aspect require (enough finance)[unclear  ] to support. Firstly, constructions of roads, railways and skyscrapers all need a great amount of money. Secondly, maintaining the[ article error ] army and manufacturing weapons cost tremendous[wrong word  ] money,[ punctuation error ] to guarantee the country’s safety. Thirdly, the[article error  ] country’s economic development will (have an immense influence on people’s life)[unclear  ] . For example, the Chinese economy has advanced these days[wrong word  ] , [ logical disconnection ] and the government has taken measures to cover a great proportion of [ article error ] medical expenses[unclear  ] . [ missing transition ] People’s health condition has become better because they have no financial pressure on health care.

On the other hand, I believe that governments should also pay attention to other types of progress. Start with education,[ punctuation error ] brilliant people (play an important role in)[wordy/use one verb  ] the[ article error ] country’s development, so improving education[ word form error ] quality is necessary. Also, technology and science, which are propellers to (push the country forward)[unclear  ] , call for more attention. At the same time, all (human development)[unclear  ] is closely related to the[article error  ] nature, protecting [ article error ] environment could lead to sustainable development. For example, in recent years, climate change has[grammatical error  ] an enormous impact on people’s life and development[ unclear ] : the yield of grains has decreased, more natural disasters have happened, and the quality of air has declined.

In conclusion, while the economy is a major factor for the [article error  ] country’s development, I believe the [article error  ] government should also take[ wrong word ] other types of progress seriously.