Reply To: Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.
TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. › IELTS Writing › Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. › Reply To: Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.
People have different views about which type of progress is the most important for a country. While some people believe [/argue ] that economic progress [ repetition ] (is the most significant)[ use verb phrase to replace BE phrase ] , I think progress[ repetition ] in other aspects is also crucial for a country[repetiton ] .
On the one hand, I agree that economic progress is of great importance[ logically incomplete ] . [missing a transitory word ] Developments[word form error ] in any other aspect require (enough finance)[unclear ] to support. Firstly, constructions of roads, railways and skyscrapers all need a great amount of money. Secondly, maintaining the[ article error ] army and manufacturing weapons cost tremendous[wrong word ] money,[ punctuation error ] to guarantee the country’s safety. Thirdly, the[article error ] country’s economic development will (have an immense influence on people’s life)[unclear ] . For example, the Chinese economy has advanced these days[wrong word ] , [ logical disconnection ] and the government has taken measures to cover a great proportion of [ article error ] medical expenses[unclear ] . [ missing transition ] People’s health condition has become better because they have no financial pressure on health care.
On the other hand, I believe that governments should also pay attention to other types of progress. Start with education,[ punctuation error ] brilliant people (play an important role in)[wordy/use one verb ] the[ article error ] country’s development, so improving education[ word form error ] quality is necessary. Also, technology and science, which are propellers to (push the country forward)[unclear ] , call for more attention. At the same time, all (human development)[unclear ] is closely related to the[article error ] nature, protecting [ article error ] environment could lead to sustainable development. For example, in recent years, climate change has[grammatical error ] an enormous impact on people’s life and development[ unclear ] : the yield of grains has decreased, more natural disasters have happened, and the quality of air has declined.
In conclusion, while the economy is a major factor for the [article error ] country’s development, I believe the [article error ] government should also take[ wrong word ] other types of progress seriously.