Reply To: There is an increasing trend for people to live alone. What is causing this to happen? Will it have a negative or a positive impact on society?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing There is an increasing trend for people to live alone. What is causing this to happen? Will it have a negative or a positive impact on society? Reply To: There is an increasing trend for people to live alone. What is causing this to happen? Will it have a negative or a positive impact on society?

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University: University of Wisconsin
January 17, 2021 at 4:57 pm

Nowadays, an increasing number of people tend to live alone. Several factors[coherence issue: make the subject echo the subject or the object of the prior sentence  ] contribute to this[ unclear pronoun ], [including technological development and pursuit of freedom][misplacement  ]. However, in my view, it[unclear pronoun  ] (has a negative influence)[ wordy ] on society.

(Firstly, this tendency is associated with the development of technology.)[The general idea was mentioned in the first paragraph; here use a more specific topic sentence. i.e., First, technological innovations have minimized the need for conventional social gathering.   ] To be more specific, in [ In ]the wake of the [ article error ]high-speed social progress, (plenty of)[wordy  ] electronic products[/devices  ] like[such as  ] mobile phones, laptops, [ grammatical error ]pads are[grammatical error  ] invented, which can all help [ helps ]humans contact others (timely and conveniently)[redundant  ]. Therefore, interactions with friends, family [members  ]or others have been[inconsistency in tense  ]( no worry even in the long distance)[wordy and unclear  ].

(The second reason for this living pattern)[ verbose ] is individuals’ desire for freedom. (Along with the advance of the time)[verbose/unclear  ], (people are more aware of)[factual issue  ] the right to[preposition error  ] freedom and value it [ unclear pronoun ]better. [punctuation error with conjunction word  ]And living alone is a significant step towards [acquiring  ]freedom,[ punctuation error ] since no one is (around you, staring at you, disrupting you)[ parallelism issue ], and you[shift of person  ] do not need to concern about (anyone or doing something for others)[unclear  ]. As a result, this[ unclear pronoun ] also prompts [wrong word  ]the modern living pattern.

In my point of view[ verbose ], this kind of life-style[spelling error  ] will (exert a bad impact on)[ verbose ] society. For one thing, (people will have worse emotions due to this kind of living pattern)[unclear/repetition  ]. Most of our fun in life comes from interactions with others[absolute statement  ]. Once we (have no)[ avoid using NO/NOT ] company, our pleasure will decline (a lot)[informal  ]. On top of that, the [article error  ]progress of society [verbose  ]may slow down. This[unclear pronoun  ] is because [ verbose ]almost all our innovations, [ punctuation error ]our new ideas come from cooperation with many others. Therefore, living by oneself will reduce one’s creativity (which is a necessity)[verbose  ] for social advance.

In conclusion, technological progress and the[ article error ] pursuit of freedom lead to( more individuals living alone)[ unclear ], and (this is harmful to)[verbose  ] our society.