Reply To: At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. › TOEFL Writing › At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. › Reply To: At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

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University: University of Wisconsin
February 3, 2021 at 3:06 pm

Score: 38.6

Issues:

  1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
  2. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision )

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.