Reply To: It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. › TOEFL Writing › It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. › Reply To: It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation.

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University: University of Wisconsin
February 5, 2021 at 3:20 am

Score: ungraded

Issues:

  1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
  2. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision )

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.