Reply To: The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. › GRE Writing › The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition. › Reply To: The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

EuStemJobs Grant Seeker
Administrator
University: University of Wisconsin
February 10, 2021 at 10:06 pm

Score: 40.2

Issues:

  1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
  2. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision )

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.