Reply To: In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives. Reply To: In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.

Administrator
University: University of Wisconsin
February 17, 2021 at 8:15 pm

Score: ungraded

Issues:

  1. About 55% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
  2. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
  3. Lengthy paragraphs; restrict each paragraph to 90 words. (GRE essay 110-word qualifies for non-software revision; 90- word applies to TOEFL/IELTS essay )

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.