Reply To: In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.
TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. › TOEFL Writing › In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives. › Reply To: In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.
February 17, 2021 at 8:15 pm
Score: ungraded
Issues:
- About 55% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
- About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
- Lengthy paragraphs; restrict each paragraph to 90 words. (GRE essay 110-word qualifies for non-software revision; 90- word applies to TOEFL/IELTS essay )
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.