Reply To: It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. Reply To: It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation.

Administrator
University: University of Wisconsin
February 18, 2021 at 3:00 am

Score: 55.6

Issues:

  1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
  2. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
  3. Many unnecessary adverbs.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.