Reply To: It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation.
TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. › TOEFL Writing › It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. › Reply To: It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation.
University: University of Wisconsin
Widespread internet access gives us great convivence in
our life, so does public transportation. Both[ While both ] are essential in our daily activities, but I personally believe that public transportation needs better support from our government. ( I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.)[Summarize reasons as a thesis. ]
First, public transportation service is crucial for people who are unable to drive or [ who ] have no access to personal vehicles. Children, individuals with disabilities, and older adults need (those services)[ unclear/you used SERVICE in singular form ] more than
anybody else[the rest population ] . Moreover, not everyone has[article error ] money to buy a car, (especially students)[misplaced ] . For instance, I remember I used to take [ As a college student, I took ] trains and buses to go everywhere in New York City when I was just a college student. [ since ] I couldn’t afford to have a personal vehicle , so using public transportation helped save me lots of money. The only disappointing thing to me is[ was ] that most train stations are[ tense error ] kind of dirty and messy. Therefore, I wish that the government can invest some funds[fund viable approaches ] to solve[ solving ] this problem soon.
Secondly, public transportation helps to keep traffic congestion down and reduces air pollution. I can’t imagine myself
sitting[ agonizing ] in a car with[ during ] an-hour traffic just to go[ for going ] to work every day . It is absolutely painful and ridiculous. By taking a train[, however, ] I probably arrive to work faster than driving my car. In addition, it[unclear pronoun ] may help me avoid the stress that comes [arising ] from daily driving. Thus, building more train and bus stations are[ grammatical error ] critical to our society and environment.
In conclusion, I feel [use a stronger verb ] that our government should
consider spending [ spend/expend ] more money on public transportation . It would solve many problems for people [, which would bring various benefits ] such as saving time , [ and ] money[, as well as creating a cleaner environment. ] and environmentally friendly.