Reply To: For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children (five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children (five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities. Reply To: For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children (five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities.

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University: University of Wisconsin
February 21, 2021 at 12:02 am

Today, many parents want their children to find a good job after graduation, so they hope that local governments would spend more money on children’s education. However, I think local governments should offer adequate financial support to universities instead [.  ] because [ This measure would allow ] universities need to hire many knowledgeable professors and buy plentiful advanced equipment, which helps universities to [ would ] provide students with a high-quality education. Then, these students would become excellent researchers who promote the development of technology in our country.[Unnessary in the introductory paragraph; you can put it in one of the bulk paragraphs.  ]

First, universities need sufficient funds since they should [to  ] hire many learned and experienced professors.[ repetition ] Since houses in many cities remain very expensive even for professors. Therefore, universities need to provide high salaries to retain professors. My uncle had studied in America for three years. Last year, [ before ] he returned to Beijing [ last year in the hope to find a faculty position ] . He wanted to work as a professor in a university in this city. (After negotiation[ negotiatiing ] ) [ Having negotiated ] with a manager of this university [official  ] , he concluded that he even couldn’t [ would not ] afford a house near his workplace after working for 50[fifty  ] years. [ punctuation with coordinating conjunction ] So, he gave up this opportunity.

Second, universities need to equip[logical confusion/active-passive  ] many advanced devices. These devices[repetition  ] are very[ normally ] expensive[ repetition ] because they consist of many sophisticated components. Students[ sudden shift of object ] have to undertake many [repetition  ] experiments to master the techniques in relation to the equipment. My [As a Chemistry major,  my  ] brother studies at Beijing University. He majors in Chemistry. He undertakes many experiments to observe reactions of different elements in order to discover [ potential ] implementations of these elements. Thanks to the financial support from the local government, he has acquired valuable[/substantive/significant  ] achievements in Chemistry[repetition/in his chosen discipline  ] through chemical experiments.

[On the other side, many  ] Many parents think that[ repetition ][  hope]  local administrations[authorities  ] should[ to ] spend [repetition/expend  ] enough money supporting children’s education because they hope their children’s potential develop well with teachers’ help.[ With respect, I also  ]  Whereas, I deem that children should have a healthy life. Excessive pressure [from studies  ] would[ /could ] harm their physical and psychological health[, which in turn may restrict the score of  ] . Children should stimulate their imagination and curiosity by playing rather than studying.

In a word, universities need more financial support than elementary schools from local governments.