Reply To: For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children (five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities.
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University: University of Wisconsin
Today, many parents want their children to find a good job after graduation, so they hope that local governments would spend more money on children’s education. However, I think local governments should offer adequate financial support to universities instead [. ]
because [ This measure would allow ] universities need to hire many knowledgeable professors and buy plentiful advanced equipment, which helps universities to [ would ] provide students with a high-quality education. Then, these students would become excellent researchers who promote the development of technology in our country.[Unnessary in the introductory paragraph; you can put it in one of the bulk paragraphs. ]
First, universities need sufficient funds
since they should [to ] hire many learned and experienced professors.[ repetition ] Since houses in many cities remain very expensive even for professors. Therefore, universities need to provide high salaries to retain professors. My uncle had studied in America for three years . Last year, [ before ] he returned to Beijing [ last year in the hope to find a faculty position ] . He wanted to work as a professor in a university in this city. (After negotiation[ negotiatiing ] ) [ Having negotiated ] with a manager of this university [official ] , he concluded that he even couldn’t [ would not ] afford a house near his workplace after working for 50[fifty ] years. [ punctuation with coordinating conjunction ] So, he gave up this opportunity.
Second, universities need to equip[logical confusion/active-passive ] many advanced devices. These devices[repetition ] are
very[ normally ] expensive[ repetition ] because they consist of many sophisticated components. Students[ sudden shift of object ] have to undertake many [repetition ] experiments to master the techniques in relation to the equipment. My [As a Chemistry major, my ] brother studies at Beijing University. He majors in Chemistry. He undertakes many experiments to observe reactions of different elements in order to discover [ potential ] implementations of these elements. Thanks to the financial support from the local government, he has acquired valuable[/substantive/significant ] achievements in Chemistry[repetition/in his chosen discipline ] through chemical experiments.
[On the other side, many ]
Many parents think that[ repetition ][ hope] local administrations[authorities ] should[ to ] spend [repetition/expend ] enough money supporting children’s education because they hope their children’s potential develop well with teachers’ help.[ With respect, I also ] Whereas, I deem that children should have a healthy life. Excessive pressure [from studies ] would[ /could ] harm their physical and psychological health[, which in turn may restrict the score of ] . Children should stimulate their imagination and curiosity by playing rather than studying.
In a word, universities need more financial support than elementary schools from local governments.