Reply To: In surveys, Mason City residents rank water sports (swimming, boating and fishing) among their favorite recreational activities. The Mason River flowing through the city is rarely used for these pursuits, however, and the city park department devotes little of its budget to maintaining riverside recr

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. GRE Writing In surveys, Mason City residents rank water sports (swimming, boating and fishing) among their favorite recreational activities. The Mason River flowing through the city is rarely used for these pursuits, however, and the city park department devotes little of its budget to maintaining riverside recr Reply To: In surveys, Mason City residents rank water sports (swimming, boating and fishing) among their favorite recreational activities. The Mason River flowing through the city is rarely used for these pursuits, however, and the city park department devotes little of its budget to maintaining riverside recr

Administrator
University: University of Wisconsin
February 23, 2021 at 8:54 pm

Score: ungraded

Issues:

  1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
  2. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
  3. Lots of grammatical errors;
  4. Use of China as irrelevant evidence; also, you seemed to have misunderstood what riverside facilities mean.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.