Reply To: Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Reply To: Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

March 16, 2021 at 5:34 pm

Score: ungraded

Issues:

  1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
  2. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
  3. Lots of grammatical errors.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.