Reply To: People’s behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. GRE Writing People’s behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making. Reply To: People’s behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

April 17, 2021 at 2:24 am

One cannot deny that external forces[ USE ILLUSTRATIONS ] sometimes play a crucial role in determining people’s behavior. Nevertheless, in suggesting that (this kind of factor)[ unclear ] overpowers people’s own decisions, this statement goes too far, rendering it indefensible.

On the philosophical side of this question, the supporters assert in great confidence that human beings are, in essence, fashioned by outside forces in society. According to their viewpoints, each individual is shaped by social factors such as gender, class, and national identity. For example, most influential feminists are females themselves, which provides them the opportunity to experience injustice and inequality women suffer in a patriarchy[ word form error ] society. On the surface, these feminists propound the theories and ideas themselves, but actually, they are just fulfilling the task determined by their gender.

However, the statement makes unfair overgeneralization by intentionally neglecting the strong effects of people’s independent thought. In a democratic society, people have been[are  ] nurtured and cultivated in an environment where critical thinking is always promoted. From elementary schools to colleges and universities, students have always been taught [ learn ] to suspect what they are told. As a result, most well-educated [many  ] individuals have grown up to be the ones with (well-developed ability of independent thought)[ wordy ] .

After being instilled a sense of doubt, these individuals know well they have the right to make their own decisions that should be free from external intervention, and they also understand that they ought to, if necessary, defy the environmental factors which may attempt to manipulate them. Martin Luther King grew up in a highly racist environment and (had been told)[inconsistency in tense  ] to follow the “rules”, but he still chose to join the civil rights campaign even it meant that his own life was in jeopardy.

Another argument against the feasibility of the statement is that nowadays the notion of equality has been[is  ] universal and widely accepted, so cultural tolerance and respect will continue[continue  ] to increase. Accordingly, the conceptual restrictions that previously limited people’s ability to make their own choices have been nullified. In the past, parents often compelled their children to pursue the so-called lucrative careers. (At present with the growing popularity of allowing children to pursue their genuine interest, obviously there would be more room for us to do whatever we want.)[unclear and wordy sentence  ]

In summary, though the statement correctly notes the impacts of environmental forces on people’s behavior, clearly there is a critical flaw in that it ignores the indispensable role of their independent judgment and the possibility of growing autonomy.