Reply To: Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Reply To: Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

April 19, 2021 at 3:31 pm

Score: ungraded

Issues:

  1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
  2. About 25% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.