Reply To: Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea? TPO 40 Q2

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea? TPO 40 Q2 Reply To: Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea? TPO 40 Q2

January 14, 2020 at 3:46 am

Score: 64.7

Some school-age children are offered money by their parents for high scores obtained in exams. People supporting this practice argue that money can inspire people [ repetition ]. For example, people may work harder for a higher salary. Also, giving children money can help them develop money management skills at an early age. In my opinion, it is not good to offer pure material rewards for high marks for the following reasons. [ specify reasons here ]

First of all, the inspiring effect of money is uncertain. Though adults are concerned with money, children may have different feelings about it. Playing with toys, friends and family is [ grammatical error ] usually more attractive than getting some money.

Moreover, children should study out of their interests instead of money. Only sincere love for something can keep people digging deeper. Children should try to find out their favorite subjects in school, [punctuation error  ]so that they can choose a suitable major in the university and prepare for the [ article error ] future career. Developing personal interests is a stepping stone to their future development and success. If they [unclear pronouns  ] were encouraged by material rewards at an early age, they [ too many pronouns used ]might lack the opportunity to explore different subjects out of interest. Parents who inspire their children with money are lazy and irresponsible, though it is convenient to do so. It is better for them to help [ pronoun error ]children develop interests and overcome difficulties of studying, as this is helpful in the long run.

Last but not least, children may manage and view money improperly. On one hand, children need instructions on how to use money properly, like spending it on meaningful things. Usually, parents who give money for high scores do not limit the ways of spending it, making children more likely to waste money. On the other hand, children may overvalue the importance of money. They may feel that making money is the most important goal of [ wrong preposition ] life. As a result, they may work hard all day long to get more money when they grow up, neglecting family and friends.

In summary, I think it is not a good idea to incentivize children with money. Parents should use other ways to develop children’s interests in studying, like sharing interesting stories with them.