Reply To: Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Reply To: Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.

February 11, 2020 at 10:19 pm

Ungraded

Issues:

  1. More than 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words; shorten/split them.
  2. More than 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert them into their active counterparts.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.