Reply To: Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and should be encouraged to watch at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and should be encouraged to watch at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Reply To: Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and should be encouraged to watch at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

February 20, 2020 at 4:39 am

Score: 69.4

For many people, watching TV is an essential activity during their formative years.  While/Although watching TV can help children learn, I do not believe that promoting this activity is a good idea [ Informal writing].

On the one hand, watching TV( is sometimes beneficial to) [dull Be verb ] children’s studies. Many TV programs contain visual information and plots, which make the learning process enjoyable. [lack organic connection from the prior sentence ](It is a possible way to) [ redundant] raise children’s interest in learning, especially when they get [ informal] bored with textbooks. (It is difficult and tedious for) [redundant ] children to memorize poems by rote. However, some programs (make it easier for) [ redundant] children to learn poems by heart. These programs perform [wrong word ] amusing stories of poetry and fiction to enhance children’s understanding of them [unclear pronoun ].

On the other hand, I argue that watching too much TV may adversely affect children’s studies. First of all, TV programs can distract them from learning (without adults’ supervision) [disposition ]. For example, some shows use games to help children learn better.  Nevertheless, children who lack self-discipline may be [dull BE verb ] addicted to entertainment and learn nothing. Furthermore, watching TV alone may lead to children’s misunderstanding of issues. [ choppy sentence]That’s because they cannot discuss with others. If children have questions when watching TV, teachers [coherence issue/the subject of a sentence should echo the subject/object of the prior sentence ] cannot give answers immediately, which is likely to cause children’s confusion. They may then stick to their own understanding (that is likely to be wrong) [wordy ].

In conclusion, watching TV enables children( to take an interest in) [ redundant] learning. Meanwhile, they should not watch too much TV as a result of the harmful impact on their studies.