In many countries, there has been an increase in social problems involving teenagers in recent years. Many people believe that this is due to modern lifestyles because parents spend more and more time at work and have less time to supervise their children.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In many countries, there has been an increase in social problems involving teenagers in recent years. Many people believe that this is due to modern lifestyles because parents spend more and more time at work and have less time to supervise their children. To what extent do you believe this is true? In many countries, there has been an increase in social problems involving teenagers in recent years. Many people believe that this is due to modern lifestyles because parents spend more and more time at work and have less time to supervise their children.

February 20, 2020 at 7:40 pm

Score: 50

Issues:

  1. More than 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

There is an escalating tendency that youth come to misbehave in modern society [ unfactual statement]. Some mortals [wrong word ]deem it owes[grammatical error ] to the lack of custody from effortful-work-loaded[wrong word ] parents. There is no doubt that[THERE BE redundant ] I am back up with this illustration[wrong word ].

Several reasons trigger[tense error ] behavioral and interpersonal issues among children. [ lack organic connection from the prior sentence]Teachers and schools should account for teenagers’ bad behavior, by virtue of [wrong phrase ]they are too lenient to orient [wrong word ]youngsters’ conduction[ wrong word]. Cutting-edge technology is also responsible for phenomenal[unclear] problems related to children. These [unclear pronoun ]electronic devices [unmentioned ]have threatened the formative process of interactive know-how [ unclear]during adolescence.

On the flipside, the deep-seated issue of children’s misbehavior lies in parental care[unclear ]. It is evident that raising a child in the[article error ] modern metropolis seems [conflicting with ‘evident’ ]much more costly. Parents both [disposition ]have to exert every effort into[preposition error ] work to build up the backbone for the whole family. They do not, however, realize the attention paid to kids and the interaction with teachers has shrunk. Children who receive less tenderness from unstable family are more likely to grow violence within their mind. To be specific, they become more disruptive in school, thus making it arduous for school regulators to manage. Meanwhile, there are fewer disciplines at home, the best place to cultivate children about moral issues and value notions. Deficiency of awareness in alternative educating will impair youngsters’ abilities in the long run.

In conclusion, despite many aspects of reasons leading to children’s social behavior, the most significant factor would be parental issues.

[I am not able to complete the revision of your essay because it is VERY DIFFICULT to read.]