Some people think that children should obey rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people think that children should obey rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and state your own opinion. Some people think that children should obey rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

February 26, 2020 at 9:57 pm

Score: 56.8

Some people argue that children should always obey rules at home and school. [ lacking connection from the prior sentence ]Strict discipline is sometimes essential, but I would argue that it would/could have a negative impact on children’s development.

[ Use transitory word/phrase here ]The dominant purposes of setting rules are to help children form/develop good habits and establish a sense of responsibility. Children are normally not [ avoid using NOT/unaware ]aware of the consequences of their inappropriate behaviors. By setting rules, they can have[vague verb/form  ] a better understanding of how to behave in an acceptable way. For instance, they can learn how to greet others, which would enhance a sense of responsibility for respecting others[repetition  ].

Opponents, however, believe that rules sometimes restrict/impede the development of children’s problem-solving abilities. They[ unclear pronoun/opponents? or children? ] may lose some all-round [wrong word/essential  ]skills like[ informal/such as ] time management, stress control, and emergency response capability[redundant  ]. As a result, they would have trouble coping with sophisticated situations in real society[wrong word  ]. For example, if children are[ grammatical error concerning subjunctive voice ] not[ avoid using NOT ] capable of managing time, they may[grammatical error concerning subjunctive voice  ] not[ avoid using NOT/ failed to ] meet the [ article error ]various professional demands of work during adulthood.

In my view, strict rules[ repetition ] can stifle children’s creativity and imagination. To avoid parents’/parental punishment for (disobeying rules)[repetition  ]/disobedience, children dare not express new ideas. Generally, rules provide standards for handling a range of puzzles.[unclear/disconnected from the prior sentence/rephrase  ] However, one cannot figure out problems utilizing only one way. Imaging that if all children write essays with the same method, they are impossible to think out of the box to come up with creative ideas.

The puzzles in[ article error ] real world is[grammatical error  ] quite[ unnecessary adverb ] more[ lacking comparison/than ] complex, and children cannot tackle them without integrating/integrated skills.