个人陈述常见语言表达错误及措辞调整

  • Lin Qiu
    September 1, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    个人陈述常见语言表达错误及措辞调整

    最新修改的个人陈述发现的主要问题及措辞调整建议 (因留学文书修改是付费服务,标准远高于同学们看到的托福雅思作文修改。 涉及学生隐私,不能显示全句及上下文关系)

    1. During my undergraduate studies of Computer Science – During my undergraduate studies of Computer Science;
    2. I recognize the importance of computer science in advancing industrial innovation -I recognize the importance of computer science in terms of advancing industrial innovation;
    3. I aspire to acquire a new suite of skills – I aspire to acquire an expanded suite of skills;
    4. …English was the instructional language (逻辑错误)- English was the language of instruction;
    5. I earned a 3.6 gpa – I earned a 3.6 GPA;
    6. In all my major courses – In all my core courses  (major一词多解)
    7. Methodologies such as statistical analysis – Methodologies such as statistical interpolation (更准确的统计术语);
    8. I engaged in learning and competition activities on Coursera – I engaged in learning activities and competitions via Coursera (COMPETITION 本来是活动,改前意思重叠);
    9. Supervised by Prof. xxx xxx, – Under the supervision of Prof. xxx;
    10. I conducted a xxx research. During the research, – I conducted a xxx research. During THIS research, (上下文逻辑性更强);
    11. I took xxx as a commodity – I projected xxx as a commodity (改成数学用语);
    12. I wrote a paper and published it on xxx conference – I drafted and published …for review during the xxx Conference;
    13. My internship at …- my internship with…;
    14. Put class learning in practice – make practical use of my academic….;
    15. I performed analysis on xxx – I performed analyses of …
    16. Clients from western companies – clients from Western…
    17. Offered me ample opportuties…- offered me ample opportunity (AMPLE 接名词单数)
    18. Concepts such as …- concepts related to ..
    19. Would help me to ..- would enable me to
    20. Strengthen my computational competency – Strengthen my computational competencies;
    21. Could help to transform…- could readily facilitate….
    Ricardo
    University: NUAA
    Nationality: China
    September 18, 2019 at 6:06 am

    很好的个人陈述教学

    Very nice personal daystatement and statement of purpose

    yinguanhan
    University: Shanghai Jiao Tong University
    Nationality: China
    September 20, 2019 at 1:46 am

    幫助好大,教學可以幫助我避免好多坑

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