最新修改的个人陈述发现的主要问题及措辞调整建议 (因留学文书修改是付费服务，标准远高于同学们看到的托福雅思作文修改。 涉及学生隐私，不能显示全句及上下文关系）
- During my undergraduate studies of Computer Science – During my undergraduate studies of Computer Science;
- I recognize the importance of computer science in advancing industrial innovation -I recognize the importance of computer science in terms of advancing industrial innovation;
- I aspire to acquire a new suite of skills – I aspire to acquire an expanded suite of skills;
- …English was the instructional language (逻辑错误）- English was the language of instruction；
- I earned a 3.6 gpa – I earned a 3.6 GPA;
- In all my major courses – In all my core courses (major一词多解）
- Methodologies such as statistical analysis – Methodologies such as statistical interpolation (更准确的统计术语);
- I engaged in learning and competition activities on Coursera – I engaged in learning activities and competitions via Coursera （COMPETITION 本来是活动，改前意思重叠）;
- Supervised by Prof. xxx xxx, – Under the supervision of Prof. xxx;
- I conducted a xxx research. During the research, – I conducted a xxx research. During THIS research, (上下文逻辑性更强）；
- I took xxx as a commodity – I projected xxx as a commodity (改成数学用语）；
- I wrote a paper and published it on xxx conference – I drafted and published …for review during the xxx Conference;
- My internship at …- my internship with…;
- Put class learning in practice – make practical use of my academic….;
- I performed analysis on xxx – I performed analyses of …
- Clients from western companies – clients from Western…
- Offered me ample opportuties…- offered me ample opportunity (AMPLE 接名词单数）
- Concepts such as …- concepts related to ..
- Would help me to ..- would enable me to
- Strengthen my computational competency – Strengthen my computational competencies;
- Could help to transform…- could readily facilitate….
Very nice personal daystatement and statement of purpose
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.