个人陈述常见语言表达错误及措辞调整

个人陈述常见语言表达错误及措辞调整

最新修改的个人陈述发现的主要问题及措辞调整建议 (因留学文书修改是付费服务，标准远高于同学们看到的托福雅思作文修改。 涉及学生隐私，不能显示全句及上下文关系）

1. During my undergraduate studies of Computer Science – During my undergraduate studies of Computer Science;
2. I recognize the importance of computer science in advancing industrial innovation -I recognize the importance of computer science in terms of advancing industrial innovation;
3. I aspire to acquire a new suite of skills – I aspire to acquire an expanded suite of skills;
4. …English was the instructional language (逻辑错误）- English was the language of instruction；
5. I earned a 3.6 gpa – I earned a 3.6 GPA;
6. In all my major courses – In all my core courses  (major一词多解）
7. Methodologies such as statistical analysis – Methodologies such as statistical interpolation (更准确的统计术语);
8. I engaged in learning and competition activities on Coursera – I engaged in learning activities and competitions via Coursera （COMPETITION 本来是活动，改前意思重叠）;
9. Supervised by Prof. xxx xxx, – Under the supervision of Prof. xxx;
10. I conducted a xxx research. During the research, – I conducted a xxx research. During THIS research, (上下文逻辑性更强）；
11. I took xxx as a commodity – I projected xxx as a commodity (改成数学用语）；
12. I wrote a paper and published it on xxx conference – I drafted and published …for review during the xxx Conference;
13. My internship at …- my internship with…;
14. Put class learning in practice – make practical use of my academic….;
15. I performed analysis on xxx – I performed analyses of …
16. Clients from western companies – clients from Western…
17. Offered me ample opportuties…- offered me ample opportunity (AMPLE 接名词单数）
18. Concepts such as …- concepts related to ..
19. Would help me to ..- would enable me to
20. Strengthen my computational competency – Strengthen my computational competencies;
21. Could help to transform…- could readily facilitate….