A course of study that has no direct employment opportunities serves no purpose.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Topics A course of study that has no direct employment opportunities serves no purpose.

  • THEASHANGYUNZHU
    University: SISU
    Nationality: China
    March 25, 2020 at 1:17 pm

    A course of study that has no direct employment opportunities serves no purpose.

    It’s argued that a course of study which doesn’t have direct opportunities concerning employment serves no purpose. Admittedly, there’re increasing percentage of graduating students who can’t find suitable jobs due to lack of practical and systematic curriculums about chances to work immediately and the recent employment status quo. However, personally, I cast doubt that courses with clear purpose of employment are more meaningful than those who don’t.

    The main task of a course is to make students acquire basic knowledge and relevant academic qualification. Courses providing opportunities of employment are required cooperation relationship with certain companies, which is in the need of the university’s full attention for the reason that school definitely wants their students to get better jobs that are offered by those firms. Then, universities are more likely to deal with a lot of social relationship matters with regard to fund, investment, quantities of working positions, and so forth. Hence, the school’s focus has changed drastically. And this influences students’ studying directly and seriously.

    Additionally, students studying in a major that has direct employment chances are feeling less competitive during their time in university, which probably will trigger their laziness on their schoolwork. They’ll perhaps be less diligent and focused, to some extent. Thus, they’ll be lacking in some qualities, such as professional qualification, interpersonal skills, time-arrangement skills, and so forth. Diverse skills and qualities, which will cultivate their future development, are needed no matter what position people are in. If students don’t acquire these, lacking them will be the weakness compared to their peers, and it’ll be hard to say that they will gain a betterment of the career in the future.

    In conclusion, the significance of the course doesn’t relate to whether it provides direct chances of employment or not at all. And the ability to provide working opportunities should never be the criteria of importance of certain course.

    March 25, 2020 at 3:05 pm

    Score: 46.7

    Issues:

    1. More than 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. More than 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    THEASHANGYUNZHU
    University: SISU
    Nationality: China
    March 26, 2020 at 11:11 am

    Nowadays, there’re increasing graduating students who can’t find suitable jobs because their universities have never offered them curriculums that provide direct employment opportunities. Some people assume that courses with no direct working opportunities serve no purpose. However, I cast doubt.

    The main task of a course is to make students acquire basic knowledge and relevant academic qualification. Courses providing opportunities about employment are required cooperation with relevant companies, which needs the university’s full attention aiming to establish a perfect collaboration relationship, including  investment, quantities of working positions and so on. Hence, this will directly affect the focus of the school. For instance, the school might pay less attention to the academic research and study but more to commercial cooperation with other firms. And the academic atmosphere in school will get worse.  This is not good for students’ study.

    Moreover, students studying in a major that has employment chances are feeling less competitive during their time in university. This will trigger their laziness on schoolwork. Then, they’ll perhaps be less diligent and focused, to some extent, and gradually lose their initiative in learning. Thus, they’re more likely to lose some qualities, such as professional qualification, interpersonal skills, time-arrangement skills, and so forth. Those qualities do cultivate their personality, which is good for their future career. And students will need them as long as they enter the society.

    In conclusion, I accept that it’s more challenging for graduating students to find jobs these days. But the significance of the course doesn’t relate to whether it provides direct chances of employment. It’s not advisable for them to select a course in terms of its ability to provide employment opportunities.

     

     

    • This reply was modified 4 days, 9 hours ago by Lin QiuLin Qiu.
    March 26, 2020 at 8:06 pm

    Score: 47.7

    Issues:

    1. More than 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.