A lot of young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating from high school. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to teach them this important skill?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing A lot of young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating from high school. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to teach them this important skill?

  • Jay Cheng
    University: Tianjin University
    Nationality: China
    February 2, 2021 at 12:05 pm

    A lot of young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating from high school. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to teach them this important skill?

    A problem of modern society is that more and more graduate students lack the skills to manage their money. Possible reasons leading to this matter will be taken into careful consideration, and steps can definitely be taken to tackle the problem.

    One of the reasons leading to this trend is the unpractical curriculums at school. To start with, people acquire professional knowledge in universities, such as literature, physics, and chemical. However, then have few opportunities to learn practical skills, for example, how to use money in a highly efficient way. As a result, they have no idea of financial management.

    Another reason could be attributed to their parents. In the first place, they are spoiled by the older generation. That is to say, they have enough pocket money to purchase anything they like without thinking twice. In the second place, most students in university used to get money from their parents regularly. Therefore, they are less willing to have a job to support themselves which could facilitate independent skills, including time control and money management.

    To solve this urgent problem, what should be done as follow. Firstly, it is an obligation for parents to impart some practical skills to children. For instance, trying to give them less money is beneficial for their development. Second of all, the school should put some knowledge about money management into textbooks, such as stcoks. In this way, students might pay more attention on such skills in order to have a better academic performance.

    Overall, different questions have been discussed.This matter, for my part,has diverse reasons ,inculing education and parents.Some measures should be implemented to deal with this porblem.

     

     

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 2, 2021 at 10:52 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 35% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE essay revision )

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Jay Cheng
    University: Tianjin University
    Nationality: China
    February 7, 2021 at 5:12 am

    A problem of modern society is that more and more graduate students lack the skills to manage their money. In this essay, I will analyze the possible reasons leading to this matter, and some steps that we can take.

    One of the reasons leading to this trend is the impractical curriculums at school. This is to say, people acquire professional knowledge in universities, such as literature, physics, and chemical. However, then have few opportunities to learn practical skills, such as using money in a highly efficient way. As a result, they have no idea of financial management.

    Another reason could be attributed to their parents. In the first place, they are spoiled by the older generation. In other words, they have enough pocket money to purchase anything they like without thinking twice. In the second place, most students in university used to get money from their parents regularly. Therefore, they are less willing to have a job, which could facilitate independent skills, to support themselves.

    To solve this urgent problem, we can take some measures as follow. Firstly, parents have the responsibility to impart some practical skills to children. For instance, trying to give them less money is beneficial for their development. Secondly, the school should put some knowledge about money management into textbooks, such as investing in stocks and funds. What I mentioned could raise their awareness of money management.

    Overall, different questions have been discussed. This matter, for my part, has diverse reasons, including education and parents, but we can take some actions to deal with i

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 16, 2021 at 11:23 pm

    Score: 63.4

    Issues:

    1. About 25% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision )

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.