Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. 

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. 

  • SqUirrel
    University: shenzhen institute of information technology
    Nationality: china
    June 21, 2021 at 12:21 pm

    Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. 

    Some people may think that advertisement are important in attracting people to buy things, while others believe that they are no longer important in advertising because they are too common that people are not pay any attention on them.

    On the one hand, there is an argue that advertisement is too common thta people are hardly to pay any attention on them. With the widespread of it and the development of people’s awareness of their life quantity, people are more rational to select and purchase those things they need instead of simply attracting by those advertisement. For example, when we want to buy a computer for work which is quite expensive, we need to consider what functions does it have and how well could it performed in work and many aspect.

    On the other hand, I think common advertisement still play an important role in attracting people to buy things. As to its convience, those advertisement can be placed in every concerns in city that people can see, by what I mean, it can deepen people’s impression on a unique goods. For example, if there was an advertisement placed opposite the window of your home that you can see it everyday, and you might have a deep impression on it so that you might prefer it when you really need it. Furthermore, people who have no such knowledge on something they want but really need it can easily access such things on its advertisement.

    In conclusion, although advertisement is common to see in our daily life, I believe it can be functional to people who want to buy something they need.

    June 27, 2021 at 2:45 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 90% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 25% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.