All university students should be required to take history courses no matter what their majors are.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing All university students should be required to take history courses no matter what their majors are.

  • Yuhe_Su
    University: Xi'an Jiaotong Liverpool University
    Nationality: Chinese
    August 12, 2020 at 1:24 pm

    All university students should be required to take history courses no matter what their majors are.

    University is the place where people get the most wonderful experience and growth of life. However, there’s a point of view stating the entire college students should be forced to learn history lessons despite their majors. Personally I cannot agree with this since for the students not majoring in history, the compulsory history lesson would become a burden to their main course learning, as well as it may bring dislike and weariness.

    Obligatory history class for college students can be a burden to students outside history major. For example, students in biology major are busy doing experiments and writing reports every day. If there’s extra history lesson, loads of reading material and coursework would keep the students fully occupied and have no time for their major courses. Moreover, if the students cannot finish their coursework on time and with high quality, they might fail the course and even expired from school. Those are out of the students’ primary expectation of a university.

    Students other than history major students usually do not have much preference on history learning so mandatory learning can lead to dislike and weariness, which finally cause failing exam and even quitting. Take my friend Maggie as an example, she’s a student studying mathematics and her university required her to take American History lesson. She’s not a person favorable to history so she even cannot finish the coursework. Weariness and annoyness to history made her upset every day and was not capable to concentrate on her regular routine. Such behaviour can be a great burden to college students both physically and mentally.

    Although it might enrich students’ understanding to history and cultural identification by taking history lesson, the way of action can be altered. Students can read history books or watch movies of this topic in their spare time so that it would not interfere their ordinary learning and studying.

    In conclusion, history lesson should not be a compulsory task for college students as it can bring huge burden to students both on school work and their mental feeling.

    August 13, 2020 at 1:49 am

    Score: 49.3

    Issues:

    1. About 55% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Sample revision

    University is the place where people [wrong word  ]get[informal  ] the most[absolute statement  ] wonderful experience and growth of life. However, there’s[informal  ] (a point of view stating)[ verbose ] (the entire)[ redundant ] college students (should be forced to)[passive  ] learn[ wrong word ] history lessons despite their majors. (Personally I )[ redundant ]cannot agree with this[unclear pronoun  ] since for (the students not majoring in history)[verbose /use fewer word  ], the[article error  ] compulsory history lesson would (become a burden to their main course learning)[ unclear ], as well as[ wrong phrase ] it[ unclear pronoun ] may (bring dislike and weariness)[logically incomplete  ].

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