Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters(such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters(such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

  • Jessy
    University: Harbin Normal University
    Nationality: China
    May 15, 2020 at 6:55 am

    Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters(such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

    In recent years,whether to let our kids make their own decisions has arose peoples’ attention.Some people insist that children will only care about their own wishes by deciding everything themselves.But other people agree that it is vital for our kids to make their own choices.As far as I concerned,I also think children should make decisions by themselves.

    People may worry about that their children become selfish gradually because of making up their own mind all the time.Children could only concern about their own feelings when having a meal with friends,so they will ignore their friends’ emotions.The same situation may also happen to buy clothes when they go shopping with friends,as well as have entertainments.These all will result in contradiction with friends,parents,classmates and so on.In my views,however,I think these will not happen as long as parents give their children correct guidance.

    I agree that we should permit our kids to be enough independent to deal with everything.In modern society,strong personalities and abilities are needed to build up this world.Thinking about matters that children confront with without their parents’ intervention can develop a sharp thinking.When they are stuck in an emergency,the first thing they will do is to come up with a proper idea to handle it.At the moment,they can be enough calm rather than to be flustered compared with those whose parents decide everything for them.

    Overall,when we listen to our children’s thoughts,it is not wise to deny them or push them to receive our views.Just try  to respect their ideas and we can give them a little advice appropriately.

    May 15, 2020 at 8:40 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 80% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 40% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Jessy
    University: Harbin Normal University
    Nationality: China
    May 17, 2020 at 2:12 pm

    In present-day society, effect that children make decisions independently arise people’s attention. Some people think this may cause children only care about themselves. On the contrary, others agree that making their own choices are important for kids. I support that children can cultivate independently thinking ability through making their own mind.

    Some people may worry that their children become so selfish that they only think about their own feelings, because they are accustomed to make decisions by themselves. For instance, when they have a meal with friends, they will only think about the food they want, so as to ignore friends’ thoughts. This will also happen to go shopping, as well as have a relaxing activity. These will result in contradiction with friends and parents owing to the fact that they always make decisions without parents’ intervention. As far as I am concerned, however, these will not happen as long as parents give correct guidance.

    I prefer to agree that children have own thinking ability is beneficial. In modern society, strong ability is necessary to build up a better life. While confronting with matters, children depend on themselves will get more mature. Even if they get into trouble, the first thing they will do is to come up with ideas to deal with trouble. At the moment, they are enough calm compared with those who do not have independent thinking ability.

    In conclusion, it is better to respect our children’s thoughts, and we can give them a little proper advice.

    May 19, 2020 at 12:46 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 20% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Many grammatical errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.