Although family has a great influence on children’s lives, it is the influence outside the home that plays a bigger part in their development. 

People hold diverse opinions about the role that parents and (social factors)[ society  ] play in children’s development. From my perspective, (both family and influences from outside the home)[ unparalleled  ] are crucial for children’s education[ education is different from development  ].

On the one hand, external factors impact children’s daily life when they [ unclear pronoun  ]are absent from home. Central to these factors are teachers. Instructors[, whoc   ] not only assume the responsibility of imparting knowledge of various subjects but also impose restrictions on children’s behaviour so that the younger generation can become well-educated and self-disciplined. Classmates can also affect children’s conduct[word form error   ]. Civilised [wrong word   ]peers can (set an ideal example and help children)[ clumsy writing  ] distinguish right from wrong. This experience[ unclear word  ] can foster children’s personality and also[ wrong word  ] improve their ability to regulate their conduct[ word form error  ].

However, I consider it imperative to attach equal importance to parents’ part in children’s life. As they[ unclear pronoun  ] are indispensable in children’s early years, their [unclear pronoun   ]education lays the fundament for children’s further development. For example, parents serve as a role model[ unclear  ] and inculcate[  word choice ] core values and principles of the society into their children[  clumsy writing ], who will[ zero-conditional  ] in turn emulate parents’ behaviour and abide by correct ideas. By contrast, wrong methods of parenting may do harm to children’s growth. If parents prefer[ grammatical error  ] to treat juniors severely and even violently, children will[ grammatical error  ] be susceptible to rebellion and hard to control[ unparalleled  ], which can give rise to an adolescent crisis.

In conclusion, I maintain that both family and external influences play an essential part in children’s development. Therefore I suggest that (good use should be made of these two factors)[ unclear  ] to maximise their [  unclear pronoun ]benefits.