In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  • nieves
    University: Central South University
    Nationality: China
    February 26, 2020 at 2:28 pm

    In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    Fast food plays an increasingly essential role in people’s life today. Whether the government should make the tax of them higher or not is a hot issue. I believe a higher tax are able to efficiently control the purchase of fast food and make the public healthier.

    On the one hand, people can hardly control themselves when face seduction, hence the government’s help is necessary. Nowadays, due to the convenience and tastiness of fast food, they have been increasingly eaten by people. In fact, the reason why these food are convenient is that they have been prepared in advance and have lost the freshness. Furthermore, in order to maintain the excellent taste of the food, there are always numerous harmful additives in them, which could leads to a wide range of diseases. Therefore, it is necessary for the government to do their part to control the purchase of fast food by imposing a higher tax.

    On the other hand, with more and more citizens suffering health problems caused by the unhealthy diet, the labor market will be influenced negatively. It seems that once people increasingly go to hospital to treat their diseases because of eating too much fast food, those who make efforts to work would be less and less, which will cause detrimental consequences to the quality of labor market. Apparently, the responsibility rests with the government to take steps to rise the tax to make the citizens healthier, so the quality of national labor market could be guaranteed to some degree.

    To summarize, if the government could impose a higher tax, the public will reduce the eating of fast food and will benefit a lot not only the people’s health condition, but also the labor market of a country.

    February 26, 2020 at 6:45 pm

    Score: Ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    nieves
    University: Central South University
    Nationality: China
    February 27, 2020 at 4:49 am

    Fast food plays an increasingly essential role in people’s lives today. Whether the government should make the tax of it higher or not is a hot issue. I believe a higher levy is able to efficiently control the purchase of fast food and make the public healthier.

    On the one hand, people have little self-control when facing seduction, hence the government’s help is necessary. Nowadays, due to the convenience and tastiness of fast food, they have been increasingly eaten by people. The reason why this food is convenient is that they have been prepared early without freshness. Furthermore, to maintain the excellent taste of the food, there are always harmful additives that could leads to a wide range of diseases in them . Therefore, it is necessary for the governments to do their part to control the purchase of fast food by imposing a higher tax.

    On the other hand, with more and more citizens suffering diseases caused by the unhealthy diet, the labor market will be influenced. It seems that once more and more people go to hospital to treat their diseases because of fast food, those who make efforts to work would be less and less, which will cause detrimental consequences to the quality of labor market. Apparently, the responsibility rests with the government to take steps to make the citizens healthier to guarantee the quality of workforce to some degree.

    To summarize, if the government raise the tax of the junk food, the public will restrict the eating of it, which will benefit a lot not only people’s health,but also the quality of workforce of a country.

    March 3, 2020 at 4:35 am

    Score: Ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    nieves
    University: Central South University
    Nationality: China
    March 3, 2020 at 6:40 am

    Fast food plays an increasingly essential role in people’s lives today. Whether the government should make the tax of it higher or not is a hot issue. I believe a higher levy can efficiently control the purchase of fast food and make the public healthier.

    On the one hand, people have little self-control when facing seduction. Hence the government’s help is necessary. Nowadays, due to the convenience and tastiness of fast food, people are fond of earing them. The reason lies in that they have been prepared in advance without freshness. Furthermore, to maintain the excellent taste of the food, harmful additives that could lead to a wide range of diseases are added in them. So, it is necessary for governments to do their part to control the purchase of fast food by imposing a higher tax.

    On the other hand,  citizens suffering disease caused by an unhealthy diet will affect the labor market. It seems that once more and more people go to hospital to treat their illness, those who make efforts to work would be less and less. This will cause detrimental consequences to the quality of labors. The responsibility rests with the government to take steps to make the citizens healthier to guarantee the quality of workforce.

    To summarize, if the government raise the tax of the junk food, the public will restrict fast food’ s eating. This will benefit not only people’s health, but also the quality of the workforce of a country.

    March 3, 2020 at 9:19 pm

     

    Score: ungraded

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    nieves
    University: Central South University
    Nationality: China
    March 4, 2020 at 9:13 am

    Fast food plays an increasingly essential role in people’s lives today. Whether the government should make the tax of it higher or not is a hot issue. I believe a higher levy can efficiently control the purchase of fast food and make the public healthier.

    On the one hand, people have little self-control when facing seduction. Hence the government’s help is necessary. Nowadays, due to the convenience and tastiness of fast food, people are fond of earing them. The reason lies in that people prepare them in advance without freshness. Furthermore, to maintain the excellent taste of the food, harmful additives that could lead to a wide range of diseases are added in them. So,  governments should do their part to control the purchase of fast food by imposing a higher tax.

    On the other hand, with more and more citizens suffering diseases caused by an unhealthy diet, the labor market will be influenced. It seems that once more and more people go to hospital to treat their illness, those who make efforts to work would be less and less. This situation will cause detrimental consequences to the quality of the workforces. The responsibility rests with the government to take steps to make the citizens healthier to guarantee the quality of the workforce.

    To summarize, if the government raises the tax of junk food, the public will restrict eating them. This will benefit not only people’s health, but also the quality of the workforce of a country.

    March 4, 2020 at 2:50 pm

    Score: Ungraded

    Issues:

    1. More than 20% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    Fast food plays an increasingly essential role in people’s lives today. [ makes no sense unless being explained ] Whether the government should make[ wrong word ] the tax of it higher or not is a hot issue[ factual error/don’t fabricate things that contradict with the truth.  ]. I believe a higher levy can efficiently control the purchase of fast food and make the public healthier.

    On the one hand, people have little self-control when facing seduction[ absolute statement ]. Hence the government’s help is necessary. Nowadays, due to the convenience and tastiness of fast food, people are fond of earing them[absolute statement  ]. The reason lies (in that)[change it; it also means BECAUSE  ] people prepare them[unclear pronoun  ] in advance without freshness[ misplaced phrase ]. Furthermore, to maintain the excellent taste of the food, harmful additives that could lead to a wide range of diseases are added[ passive ] in them. So,  governments should do their part to control the purchase of fast food by imposing a higher tax[ redundant/functions the same as ‘do their part’ ].

    On the other hand, with more and more[ redundant ] citizens suffering [preposition error  ]diseases caused by an unhealthy diet, the labor market [logical confusion  ]will be influenced[ passive ]. It seems that once more and more [ redundant ]people go to[ article error ] hospital to treat their illness,[ punctuation error ] those who make efforts to work would be less and less[redundant and grammatical error  ]. This situation will cause detrimental consequences to the quality of the workforces [word form error  ]. The responsibility rests with the government to take steps to make the citizens healthier to[ many TO in this sentence ] guarantee the quality of the workforce.

    To summarize, if the government raises the tax of [ preposition error ]junk food, the public will restrict eating them[unclear pronoun  ]. This[ unclear pronoun ] will benefit not only people’s health, [punctuation error  ]but also the quality of the workforce of a country.

    nieves
    University: Central South University
    Nationality: China
    April 3, 2020 at 8:04 am

    People have different views about whether the government should raise the tax for fast food or not. I believe that resisting eating fast food by providing a higher tax would be practical and efficient.

    On the one hand, people need some outside force to dent their appetite for keeping an unhealthy diet. For starters, they would have little self-control when being exposed to temptations. With fast food increasingly involving in our daily life, it goes without saying that almost every citizen has tried them despite being aware of the harms. Furthermore, today citizens are more likely to work overtime in order to earn more money, resulting in less time for them cooking by themselves, for which more and more people resort to convenience food. Therefore, they need some outside force to help them cut down reliance on this tasty but harmful food, like raising the levy of them.

    On the other hand, resisting the excessive eating of junk food should be the responsibility of the government. This is because if a growing number of citizens have diseases caused by keeping an unhealthy diet, the burdens of the healthcare services system will soar. It conceivable that the government would have no choice but to budget a multitude of funds towards healthcare, which would be enormous pressure because there are also other fields such as education, infrastructure construction and industries needed to be invested in. In this way, raising the tax would be the most efficient and economical way to reduce the potential cost of eating fast food.

    To summarize, I believe that it would be a practical and efficient way to offer a higher tax for fast food to the public for the sake of reducing people’s dependence on it.

    April 3, 2020 at 11:21 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    nieves
    University: Central South University
    Nationality: China
    April 5, 2020 at 5:08 am

    People have different views about whether the government should raise the tax for fast food or not. I believe that resisting eating fast food by providing a higher tax works.

    On the one hand, people need some outside force to dent their appetite for keeping an unhealthy diet. For starters, they would have little self-control when exposing to temptations. With fast food increasingly involving in our daily life, it goes without saying that almost every citizen has tried them despite being aware of the harms. Furthermore, today citizens are more likely to work overtime to earn more money, resulting in less time for them cooking by themselves. More and more people resort to convenience food. So some outside force to help them cut down reliance on this tasty but harmful food, like raising the levy, may make a difference.

    On the other hand, it should be the government’s responsibility to resist the excessive eating of junk food. This is because if a growing number of citizens have medical conditions, the burdens of the healthcare services system will soar. Thus the government would have no choice but to budget a multitude of funds towards healthcare. Compounding this is that other fields, such as education and infrastructure construction also need huge investments. In this way, raising the tax would be the most efficient and cost-effective way to reduce the potential cost of eating fast food.

    To summarize, I believe that it would be a practical and efficient way to offer a higher tax for fast food to the public. This measure could enormously reduce people’s dependence on fast food.

    nieves
    University: Central South University
    Nationality: China
    April 9, 2020 at 7:24 am

    People have different views about whether the government should raise the tax for fast food or not. I completely agree with this opinion.

    On the one hand, people need some outside force to dent their appetite for an unhealthy diet. For starters, they would have little self-control when exposing to temptations. With fast food increasingly involving in our daily life, it goes without saying that almost every citizen has tried them despite being aware of the harms. Furthermore, today citizens are more likely to work overtime to earn more money, resulting in less time for them cooking by themselves. More and more people resort to convenience food. So some outside force to help them cut down reliance on this tasty but harmful food, like raising the levy, may make a difference.

    On the other hand, it should be the government’s responsibility to resist the excessive eating of junk food. This is because if a growing number of citizens have medical conditions, the burdens of the healthcare services system will soar. Thus the government would have no choice but to budget a multitude of funds towards healthcare. Compounding this is that other fields, such as education and infrastructure construction also need huge investments. In this way, raising the tax would be the most efficient and cost-effective way to reduce the potential cost of eating fast food.

    To summarize, I believe that it would be a practical and efficient way toraise the tax for fast food. This measure could enormously reduce people’s dependence on fast food.

    April 10, 2020 at 12:49 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. More than 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    nieves
    University: Central South University
    Nationality: China
    April 10, 2020 at 1:54 pm

    People have different views about whether the government should raise the tax for fast food or not. I support the view that a higher tax could mitigate the problems caused by fast food.

    On the one hand, people need an outside force to dent their appetite for an unhealthy diet. For starters, they would have little self-control when exposing to temptations. With fast food increasingly involving in our life, almost every citizen has tried them despite being aware of the harm. Furthermore, today citizens usually work overtime to earn more money, so they would have less time to do the home cooking. More and more people resort to convenience food or get a takeaway. Widely accepted, the higher the price of fast food is, the fewer people could afford it. Thus an outside force could help them cut down reliance on this tasty but harmful food.

    Also, it should be the government’s responsibility to resist excessive junk food eating. If a growing number of citizens have medical conditions, the burdens of the healthcare services system will zoom over. The government would have to budget a multitude of funds towards the healthcare system. Additionally, other vital fields, such as education and infrastructure construction, also need huge investments. A higher tax of fast food could not only increase the revenue but also cost-effectively mitigate the problem.

    To summarize, I believe that it would be a practical way to raise the tax for fast food. This measure could enormously reduce people’s dependence on it.

    April 10, 2020 at 2:15 pm

    Score: 67.4

    People have different views about whether the government should raise the tax for fast food or not. I support the view [ repetition ] that a higher tax could mitigate the problems caused by fast food.

    On the one hand, people need an outside force to dent[wrong word  ] their appetite for an unhealthy diet. For starters, they would have little self-control when exposing to temptations. With fast food increasingly involving in our life, almost every citizen has tried them despite being aware of the harm. Furthermore, today citizens[repetition  ] usually work overtime to earn more money, so they would have less time to do the[article error  ] home cooking. [ lack connection with the prior sentence ] More and more[ wordy ] people resort to convenience food or get a takeaway. Widely accepted, the higher the price of fast food is, the fewer people could afford it. Thus an outside force [repetition  ] could help them cut down reliance on this tasty but harmful food.

    Also, it should be the government’s responsibility to resist (excessive junk food eating)[ unclear/excessive junk foot, or excessive eating; adjust word order. ] . If a growing number of citizens have [ grammatical error with subjunctive voice ] medical conditions, the burdens of the healthcare services system will [ grammatical error ] zoom over. The government would have to budget a multitude of funds towards the healthcare system. Additionally, other vital fields, such as education and infrastructure construction, also need huge investments. A higher tax of fast food could not only increase the revenue but also cost-effectively mitigate the problem[ unclear/specify the problem ] .

    To summarize, I believe that it [unclear pronoun  ] would be a practical way to raise the raising tax for[ preposition error ] fast food. This measure could enormously[wrong word/considerably  ] reduce people’s dependence on it.

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