There is an increasing trend for people to live alone. What is causing this to happen? Will it have a negative or a positive impact on society?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing There is an increasing trend for people to live alone. What is causing this to happen? Will it have a negative or a positive impact on society?

  • Ethan
    University: central university of finance and economics
    Nationality: China
    January 16, 2021 at 6:43 am

    There is an increasing trend for people to live alone. What is causing this to happen? Will it have a negative or a positive impact on society?

    Nowadays an increasing number of people tend to live alone. There are several factors contributing to this and in my view, it has a negative influence on the society.

    Firstly, this tendency is associated with the development of technology. To be more specific, in the wake of the high-speed social progress, there appear plenty of electronic products like mobile phones, laptops and ipads, which can all be used to contact with others timely and conveniently. Therefore, interactions with friends, family and others have been no worry even in the long distance.

    The second reason for this living pattern is individuals’ increasing pursuing for freedom. Along with the advance of the time(?), people are more aware of the right to freedom and value it better. And living alone is a significant step towards liberty, since no one is around you, staring at you, disrupting you and you do not need to concern about anyone or doing something for others. As a result, this also prompts the modern living pattern.

    In my point, a wealth of people choosing to living alone will exert a bad impact on the society. For one thing, people will have worse emotions due to this kind of living pattern. It is acknowledged that most of our fun in life comes from interactions with others. Once we have no one for company, our pleasure will decline a lot. On top of that, the progress of the society may slow down. This is because almost all our innovations, our new ideas come from cooperation with many others. Therefore, living by oneself will reduce one’s creativity, which is a key factor for social advance.

    In conclusion, technological advance and the pursuit of liberty lead to more individuals living alone and this is harmful to our society.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 16, 2021 at 6:51 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. 
    2. Lots of grammatical errors.
    3. Summarize factors that lead to loneliness in the first paragraph.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Ethan
    University: central university of finance and economics
    Nationality: China
    January 17, 2021 at 3:43 am

    There is an increasing trend for people to live alone. What is causing this to happen? Will it have a negative or a positive impact on the society?

    Nowadays, an increasing number of people tend to live alone. Several factors contribute to this, including technological development and pursuit of freedom. However, in my view, it has a negative influence on society.

    Firstly, this tendency is associated with the development of technology. To be more specific, in the wake of the high-speed social progress, plenty of electronic products like mobile phones, laptops, pads are invented, which can all help humans contact others timely and conveniently. Therefore, interactions with friends, family or others have been no worry even in the long distance.

    The second reason for this living pattern is individuals’ desire for freedom. Along with the advance of the time, people are more aware of the right to freedom and value it better. And living alone is a significant step towards freedom, since no one is around you, staring at you, disrupting you, and you do not need to concern about anyone or doing something for others. As a result, this also prompts the modern living pattern.

    In my point of view, this kind of life-style will exert a bad impact on society. For one thing, people will have worse emotions due to this kind of living pattern. Most of our fun in life comes from interactions with others. Once we have no company, our pleasure will decline a lot. On top of that, the progress of society may slow down. This is because almost all our innovations, our new ideas come from cooperation with many others. Therefore, living by oneself will reduce one’s creativity which is a necessity for social advance.

    In conclusion, technological progress and the pursuit of freedom lead to more individuals living alone, and this is harmful to our society.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 17, 2021 at 4:57 pm

    Nowadays, an increasing number of people tend to live alone. Several factors[coherence issue: make the subject echo the subject or the object of the prior sentence  ] contribute to this[ unclear pronoun ], [including technological development and pursuit of freedom][misplacement  ]. However, in my view, it[unclear pronoun  ] (has a negative influence)[ wordy ] on society.

    (Firstly, this tendency is associated with the development of technology.)[The general idea was mentioned in the first paragraph; here use a more specific topic sentence. i.e., First, technological innovations have minimized the need for conventional social gathering.   ] To be more specific, in [ In ]the wake of the [ article error ]high-speed social progress, (plenty of)[wordy  ] electronic products[/devices  ] like[such as  ] mobile phones, laptops, [ grammatical error ]pads are[grammatical error  ] invented, which can all help [ helps ]humans contact others (timely and conveniently)[redundant  ]. Therefore, interactions with friends, family [members  ]or others have been[inconsistency in tense  ]( no worry even in the long distance)[wordy and unclear  ].

    (The second reason for this living pattern)[ verbose ] is individuals’ desire for freedom. (Along with the advance of the time)[verbose/unclear  ], (people are more aware of)[factual issue  ] the right to[preposition error  ] freedom and value it [ unclear pronoun ]better. [punctuation error with conjunction word  ]And living alone is a significant step towards [acquiring  ]freedom,[ punctuation error ] since no one is (around you, staring at you, disrupting you)[ parallelism issue ], and you[shift of person  ] do not need to concern about (anyone or doing something for others)[unclear  ]. As a result, this[ unclear pronoun ] also prompts [wrong word  ]the modern living pattern.

    In my point of view[ verbose ], this kind of life-style[spelling error  ] will (exert a bad impact on)[ verbose ] society. For one thing, (people will have worse emotions due to this kind of living pattern)[unclear/repetition  ]. Most of our fun in life comes from interactions with others[absolute statement  ]. Once we (have no)[ avoid using NO/NOT ] company, our pleasure will decline (a lot)[informal  ]. On top of that, the [article error  ]progress of society [verbose  ]may slow down. This[unclear pronoun  ] is because [ verbose ]almost all our innovations, [ punctuation error ]our new ideas come from cooperation with many others. Therefore, living by oneself will reduce one’s creativity (which is a necessity)[verbose  ] for social advance.

    In conclusion, technological progress and the[ article error ] pursuit of freedom lead to( more individuals living alone)[ unclear ], and (this is harmful to)[verbose  ] our society.