Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business.

  • HUGO
    University: Southwestern University Of Finance And Economics
    Nationality: China
    February 26, 2020 at 12:43 pm

    Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business.

    Across the globe art forms an important element of cultures. However, nowadays, not many people are interested in arts. Actually, the majority of people lean towards subjects like science, technology and business. The main reason behind this is the money earned after learning these subjects as they offer better job prospects. However, this situation can be tackled if authorities take a few measures in association with the general public.

    People are losing interest in arts as they do not consider it as a practical subject. In other words, learning art may not help them secure a good job in a multinational company. Many artists struggle to earn their livelihood as compared to those employed in sectors of business and technology. Focusing on subjects other than art is considered as a gateway to success. To illustrate, a recent survey conducted by the Times Magazine has showed that many science graduates get better job offers than art graduates.

    However, art is the backbone of our culture. Lack of interest in art will eventually lead to the death of rich cultural heritages across the world. The government can help to revive interest of young generations in art. The authorities should allocate budget for developing art field by constructing art schools and maintaining art galleries. Organising cultural events will generate jobs for many and will attract many tourists. Increase in the number of tourists will help generate more revenue. The better financial prospects will act as a boost for people to pursue art as a passion and a career option.

    In conclusion, subjects such as science, technology and business are lucrative in terms of job prospects, but art too can be a source of livelihood. The combined efforts of the government and the people are needed for the survival of art.

    February 26, 2020 at 9:41 pm

    Score: 61.1

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    HUGO
    University: Southwestern University Of Finance And Economics
    Nationality: China
    March 13, 2020 at 4:37 am

    Across the globe, art forms an important element of cultures. However, nowadays, not many people are absorbed in the arts. The majority of people focus on subjects like science, technology and business. The main reason behind this is that these subjects offer better job prospects and salaries.However, authorities can take a few measures to tackle this problem.

    People are losing interest in the arts as they do not consider it as a practical subject. In other words, learning art may not help them secure a good job in an international company. Many artists struggle to earn their livelihood while those working in business and technology are wealthy. People consider these sectors as a doorway to success. A recent survey by the Times Magazine has shown that many science graduates get better job offers than art graduates.

    However, art is the backbone of our culture. Lack of interest in art will threaten rich cultural heritage across the world. The government can help to revive the interest of young generations in art. The authorities should invest in the art field, such as constructing art schools and maintaining art galleries. Organizing cultural events will create jobs for many and will draw many tourists. An increase in the number of tourists will help generate more profits. The better financial prospects will act as an impetus for people to explore art as a passion and a career opportunity.

    In conclusion, science, technology and business has excellent promotion prospects, but art can provide a livelihood as well. The combined efforts of the government and the people are crucial for the growth of art.

    March 17, 2020 at 1:43 am

    Score: 64.9

    Final Revision

    Across the globe, art forms an important element of cultures. However, nowadays, not many people are absorbed in the arts. The majority of people focus on subjects like science, technology and business. The main reason behind this is that these subjects offer better job prospects and salaries.[ spacing error ]However, I am of the opinion that authorities can take a few measures to tackle this problem.

    [ lack a transitory word/phrase ]People are losing interest in the arts as they do not consider it as a practical subject. In other words, learning art may not help them secure a good job in an international/multinational company. Many artists struggle to earn their livelihood while those working in business and technology are wealthy. People consider these sectors as a doorway to success. A recent survey by the Times Magazine has shown that many science graduates get better job offers than art graduates.

    However, art is the backbone of our culture. Lack of interest in art will[ use a conditional word/could ] threaten the existence/survival of rich cultural heritage across the world. [lacking a logical connection from the prior sentence  ]The government can help to revive the interest of young generations in art. [disconnected  ]The authorities should invest in the art field, such as by constructing art schools and maintaining art galleries. [lacking connection  ]Organizing cultural events will create jobs for many and will draw many tourists. [ lacking connection ]An increase in the number of tourists will help generate more profits. [lacking connection  ]The better financial prospects will act as an impetus for people to explore art as a passion and a career opportunity.

    In conclusion, science, technology and business has [grammatical error  ]excellent promotion prospects, but art can provide a livelihood as well. In light of these, I believe that the combined efforts of the government and the people are crucial for the growth of art.