Some people say that art subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Score: 62

Issues:

1. About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Score: 62.5

Nowadays, art subjects are compulsory for high school students [factual error ]. This education model receives a mixed reception. I disagree with the compulsory art subjects[ logical confusion].

For one thing, high school students are too busy to spare free time for learning art subjects. The only purpose for most Chinese high school students [idea introduced without preparation; the IELTS test doesn’t expect you to talk about China alone. Even you decide to do so, you need to bridge your argument into China. ]is to achieve fantastic academic performance so that they could pass the National College Entrance Examination, which doesn’t test students’ art ability[lengthy; split it into two sentences ]. That’s why many schools shorten the schedule of art classes, leaving more room for main subjects such as Chinese and Maths. Thus, more time [ coherence issue resulted from using passive voice]should be spared for the preparation for one of the most significant examinations in students’ life. [ use active sentence and make sure the SUBJECT echoes the Subject, or the Object, of the prior sentence.]

For another, art subjects are too[ wrong use of adverb/ too…to..] costly for some students. Art classes without practices are little more than decoration[unclear ]. Thus, a qualified art class often requires instruments such as violins and tools such as paintings. All the necessary economic The associated costs may go beyond the access / financial capabilities of students with humble backgrounds. Thus, compulsory art subjects are not enjoyments for many families. Instead, these classes may become not only an economic burden but mental stress for many economically stricken households.  but burdens for them, not only economically but also mentally.

Some people might argue may retort that art subjects are necessary for cultivating [ use strong verbs]can cultivate students’ perception of the beauty of the arts aesthetic appreciation. (However, denying the compulsoriness of art subjects doesn’t mean canceling them. )[unclear ]There is a middle-of-the-road solution: to set art subjects optional. Students who are willing to afford the time and money can choose art lessons, . But but those who aren’t can just pass them over.

To sum up, the advantages of eliminating compulsory art subjects outweigh the disadvantages.