At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

  • ZhenDanielYan
    University: Tianjin University
    Nationality: China
    January 21, 2021 at 3:44 am

    At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Someone think that the sports and social activities should be taken as equally important to class and libraries and given corresponding financial support. Sports and social activities play a considerable part in students’ life, we are supposed to stress these activities enough. However, overemphasis on them while overlooking on students’ basic work, taking classes, and learning from courses can cause hazardous outcomes.

    Sports and social activities are good complements to learning and researching for students. With sports and social activities, students can experience more versatile aspects of the campus life. After all, a student who could only take classes and do research is often view as a nerd guy in most people’s eye.

    However, this does not mean that we should overstate the importance of sports and activities and finance these activities the same as classes and libraries. One of the most fundamental functions of universities and colleges is to cultivate people with advanced skills. With that p

    rospect, universities and colleges should offer their students as good as possible classes and well-equipped libraries. Financing sports and social activities too much is in all possibilities to undermine the quality of the classes and the libraries, which makes profound harm to these advanced educational institutions.

    For students, sports and social activities are only individual penchants. The universities and colleges should give them freedom to choose their developing area. But too many expenditures on activities irrelevant of classes and research might mislead students and make them spend less time on the courses and research, which lower the quality of graduates of these advanced educational institutions and even the society.

    In summary, from my prospective, the vital role of the university and the college is to cultivate advanced talents in numerous industries. Giving superfluous stress on sports and social activities and financing them too much are much more likely to be detrimental for both the universities and the college and their students.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 3, 2021 at 3:06 pm

    Score: 38.6

    Issues:

    1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision )

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.