At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • Zora
    University: Central University of finance and economics
    Nationality: Chinese
    March 10, 2020 at 3:59 pm

    At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    It is never uncommon that an increased number of universities devote more money in sports and social activities, thereby providing their students with more comfortable environment. Hordes of people, however, tend to believe that a large proportion of financial support should be used in classes and libraries, for the simple reason that these factors directly connect with students’ grades. Perhaps there is an element of truth in their argument, but I, without hesitation, advocate that sports and social activities should be given same amount of money as classes and libraries.

    Grandly, classes and libraries are essential in universities, because they determine the quality of students’ study, which is the main reason why students go to universities. Over the years, people gradually come to the agreement that universities should only use their funds to build luxury libraries and employ famous professors. This conclusion, however, has hardened in to dogma, for a brief reflection reveals a thoroughly different picture of the university.

    First and foremost, companies and HRs are more likely to give offers to students who take part in social and sports activities. To begin with, students with full experience of social activities will perform better in communication. Social activities help them to broaden their social circle and provide them with more chances to get along with various students from different backgrounds. Additionally, students in sport team usually perform well in team work. There is no doubt that many sport activities require people to act in a group, for example, football and basketball, two of the most favorable kinds of sport in universities, require player to play and coordinate in a team with several people. According, it is well acknowledged that students with such activity experience will have more opportunities when landing jobs, for they have some characteristics that are necessary for work. If universities want their students to be more competitive, then they should give more financial emphasis on those activities. On the contrary, universities lacking financial support will not be able to give their students such meaningful and useful experience.

     

    March 11, 2020 at 3:06 am

    Score: 43.5

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph within 80 words.
    3. More than 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Zora
    University: Central University of finance and economics
    Nationality: Chinese
    March 15, 2020 at 6:56 am

    Increased number of universities pay more attention to sports and social activities, thereby providing their students with a more comfortable environment. Hordes of people, however, tend to believe that a large proportion of financial support should be spent in classes and libraries. Because these factors directly determine students’ grades. However, I advocate that sports and social activities should be given the same amount of money as classes and libraries without hesitation.

    Grandly, classes and libraries are essential in universities, because they present the quality of students’ study. Study is the main reason why students go to universities. Over the years, people gradually come to the agreement that universities should only use their funds to build luxury libraries and invite famous professors. This conclusion, however, has hardened into dogma, for a brief reflection reveals a thoroughly different picture of the university.

    First and foremost, companies and HRs are more likely to send offers to students who take part in social and sports exercises. To begin with, students with full social experience will perform better in communication. Social activities help them to broaden their social circle and provide them with more chances to get along with various students from different backgrounds.

    Additionally, students in sports team usually perform well in team-work. There is no doubt that many sports activities require people to act in a group. As the result, it is well acknowledged that students with such activity experience will have more opportunities when landing jobs, for they have some characteristics that are necessary for work.

    In the conclusion, if universities want their students to be more competitive, then they should give more financial emphasis on those activities. With being given enough financial support, those activities can help students to earn a better life. On the contrary, universities lacking financial support will not be able to give their students such a meaningful and useful experience.

    March 17, 2020 at 4:56 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.