At university, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing At university, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support

  • SUN SHUPENG
    University: Southwest University of Political Science and Law
    Nationality: China
    October 18, 2020 at 1:05 am

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? At university, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

     

    Should universities allocate money equally to both extra-curricular activities and classes as well as libraries? I am of the opinion that a college is supposed to put a high value not only on teaching resources but also on social activities and athletics.

     

    Admittedly, some may argue that universities should give priority to curriculum and libraries. This is because these things can make it more likely for students to achieve academic success and find high-paying jobs. Nevertheless, I believe that sports and social activities also play a pivotal role in students’ well-rounded development for the following reasons.

     

    One reason is that athletics can keep students physically and psychologically healthy, hence making them more resilient to stress. Increasingly stiff competition has actually put students under immense pressure. If these students fail to work out on a regular basis, they may lead a sedentary lifestyle, ending up suffering from some stress-induced diseases such as depression and overweight. Therefore, in this case, doing sports routinely seems to be an essential part of students’ daily life. For example, schools can invest in a public gym and make it accessible to students for free. This can genuinely give the students motivation to do exercise regularly and develop a wholesome lifestyle.

     

    In addition, participating in social activities is also a recipe for gaining soft skills. Firstly, getting involved in some social activities can give students’ interpersonal skills an upgrade. This point can be best illustrated by the example of doing voluntary work in museums where students can learn how to communicate with visitors and respond to their needs. Besides, some other social activities can give students an opportunity to cultivate their team spirits. For instance, in the process of conducting a social survey, students have to assign their tasks like data-gathering, report-writing and looking for references, which will  elevate their awareness of collaboration.

     

    In summary, even though I admit that it is crucial for universities to enhance their classes and libraries, different forms of sports and social activities should also be funded equally since these can be generally considered as a cornerstone of students’ future development.

    October 19, 2020 at 3:58 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Do not repeat the question in your introduction

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    SUN SHUPENG
    University: Southwest University of Political Science and Law
    Nationality: China
    October 20, 2020 at 11:56 am

    It is a fact of life that universities and colleges prefer to be a patron of courses and libraries. However, I think a college is supposed to put a high value on social events and athletics as well.

     

    Admittedly, some may argue that universities should give priority to curriculum and libraries. In this way, students are more likely to achieve academic success and find high-paying jobs. Nevertheless, I believe sports and social activities also play a pivotal role in students’ well-rounded development.

     

    One reason is that athletics can keep students healthy and make them more resilient to stress. Increasingly stiff competition has put students under immense pressure. If they fail to work out on a regular basis, they may lead a sedentary lifestyle. It means that students might be susceptible to some stress-induced diseases, such as depression and obesity. Therefore, doing sports routinely seems to be an essential part of their daily life. For example, schools can invest in a public gym and make it accessible to students for free. Consequently, they can be motivated to do exercise regularly and develop a wholesome lifestyle.

     

    In addition, participating in social activities can be a gateway to soft skills. First of all, getting involved in some social events can upgrade students’ interpersonal skills. This point can be illustrated by the example of doing voluntary work in museums where students can learn how to communicate with visitors and respond to their needs. Besides, some other social activities can help students cultivate their team spirit. For instance, when conducting a social survey, students have to assign their tasks, e.g., data-gathering and looking for references. These activities will probably elevate their awareness of collaboration.

     

    In conclusion, I admit that it is crucial for universities to enhance their courses and libraries. However, universities should also fund different forms of sports and social activities. This is because these activities can lay a solid foundation for students’ future development.