TPO 48: Because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing TPO 48: Because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

  • Iketsu Joe
    University: Meiji university
    Nationality: Chinese
    January 15, 2020 at 12:28 pm

    TPO 48: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

    Some people think the modern life is so complicated that people in metropolitan can not have the ability to plan and organize their daily life.Whereas other people don’t think so.To be frank,I would prefer rear one if personal experience is considered as a criterion to choose things.

    Then,why i do prefer young people living in metropolitan have ability enough to plan and organize?Firstly,the environment of big city makes people living there have to master the ability of control their own life.Especially in dense inhabited district(DID,also,usually we use this term in geography to confer the inner city)Further ,as our study, time geography points out people in labour will act common path on time-space map.So, that it is a paradox that young people can not master their life on themself.Indeed everybody living in cities has their own special invisible plan .

    Then is another reason why i choose the rear one is the job-hunting season.In east Asia,people seek job after graduation by job-hunting events.In terms of job-hunting season,enterprises and universities will offer opportunities for student as approach.However,they will not feed the chance to the adolescent’s mouth.So the graduates have to seek the job by their plan and self- organize.It happens frequently in Japan,where i am living in.

    Then why i do not like others?Granted,It’s true that life is complex in modern.Nevertheless,I have a unpleasant experience with it.My friends usually late without any reason.So,even when anyone mention it,i would catch a feeling of uncomfortable.

    In short,again,I would prefer the opinion that young people have enough ability to master their own life as essential.There are still many other reasons that can account for my fondness for it,but the obvious ones have been presented as above.

    January 15, 2020 at 3:26 pm

    Score: 28.4

    Issues:

    1. Grammatical errors;
    2. More than 75% of the sentences contain more than 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Iketsu Joe
    University: Meiji university
    Nationality: Chinese
    January 16, 2020 at 7:54 am

    Some people think modern life is so complicated that people in metropolitan can not have the ability to plan and organize their daily life. However other people don’t think so. In my opinion, I would prefer the rear one.

    Then, why I do prefer young people living in metropolitan have ability enough to plan and organize? Firstly, the environment of big city makes people living there have to master the capacity for control their own life. Especially in inner city, people have obvious tract with their daily life in map. Further, as our study, time geography points out people with jobs will act common path on time-space map. So, it is a paradox that young people can not master their life on themself. Indeed everybody living in cities has invisible plan individually .

    Then is another reason why I choose the rear one is the job-hunting season. In east Asia, people seek job after graduation by job-hunting events. In terms of job-hunting season, enterprises and universities will offer opportunities for student as approach. However, they will not feed the chance to the adolescent’s mouth. So the graduates have to seek the job by their plan and self- organize. It happens frequently in Japan, where i am living in.

    Then why I do not like others? Granted, It’s true that life is complex in modern and it has a lot of uncertainty. Nevertheless, I have an unpleasant experience with it. My friends usually late without any reason. So, even when anyone mention it, i would catch a feeling of uncomfortable.

    In short, again, I would prefer the opinion that young people have enough ability to master their own life as essential. As is paraphrased from Beck Ulrich, instead of being determined by their class situations, people operate more on their own in modern.

    January 16, 2020 at 8:20 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Problems:

    1. Numerous grammatical errors;
    2. Paragraphs start with the same word.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems.