Because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

  • Jason
    University: none
    Nationality: China
    February 14, 2021 at 4:28 am

    Because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

    In this fast-paced world, more and more tasks and works are waiting for young people to finish and accomplish. Thus, in this competitive environment, young people have to obtain a plan and organize ability, which will definitely make them become outstanding ones in the society.

    To begin with, teenager and juvenile should use this ability in their study, so that they probably can have a higher chance to receive a good looking score report card. As we all know, having a good education gradually become the most important job for modern-day teenagers. Thus, almost all parents want their children to receive decent college degrees, and then have a better life. Meanwhile, teachers are sending tons of homework to students. As a result, if a young man has an ability to plan and organize can easily finish all the task without any rush or late. Take me as an example, I always keep all the paper and handout in my binder, and also categorize each paper with each specific class binder. Thus, when a mid-term exam or final is coming, all I do is pull out my paper in the binder to review. By contrast, if someone just throws those handouts away or pushes those in their messy bag, students can’t find them in the end.

    Yet another thing we should consider is that planning and organizing can easily deal with multi-task. In this fast-developing world, almost every young person who just steps into society has to solve this problem. On the one hand, young people have to finish the task that assigned by boss well. On the other hand, young people have to learn plenty of new things like cleaning the room, cooking food, and socializing with a totally new group of people and colleagues. Those things will drive one crazy easily, so it is time to plan a schedule and organize all the things in one’s control. After people put all things on the “To-do” list or in a schedule, everything will just be easy to finish within a limit of time.

     

    February 16, 2021 at 8:24 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. Lengthy paragraphs; restrict each paragraph to 110 words. (GRE essay 110-word qualifies for non-software revision; 90- word applies to TOEFL/IELTS essay )
    3. Extensive use of adverbs.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.