Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

  • kelly wu
    University: Beijingjingshanschool
    Nationality: China
    January 27, 2020 at 12:58 pm

    Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

    Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant comparison.

    the map shows two areas in the city of Brandfield that have been proposed to be the site of a new shopping mall. To contrast, we regard them as S1 and S2.

    S1 is located at the northern part of the city, nearby the housing estate. A road runs through it, with the river adjacent to its right. This location has the merit of portable transportation, which might bring the shopping mall with good traffic advantages, whereas as it is near to a river, at certain peaks of the year, the mall may suffer from the floods due to the impact of turbulent.
    The place S2 supposed to be more peaceful. With the industrial estate across the railway on its far right, the scene of this area seems not as pretty as S1 as what I expect. But the river does not cross this position, we do not have to concern about the threat from the flood.

    To sum up, the two estates both have the advantage of being close to the city centre, which may bring them with their major consumers. But as the location distinctions, they do have various merits and drawbacks in diverse extents. The developers have to analyse properly and make the final decision.

    January 27, 2020 at 10:31 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 70% of the sentences lack transition words.
    2. Around 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Reduce the percentage to 15%-.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    kelly wu
    University: Beijingjingshanschool
    Nationality: China
    January 28, 2020 at 3:23 am

    The map shows two areas in the city of Brandfield that were proposed to be the site of a new shopping mall. For contrast, we regard them as S1 and S2.

    S1 is located in the northern part of the city, nearby the housing estate. A road runs through it, with the river adjacent to its right. This location has the merit of portable transportation, which might bring the shopping mall with good traffic advantages, whereas as it is near to a river, at specific peaks of the year, the mall may suffer from the floods due to the impact of turbulent.
    The place S2 supposed to be more peaceful. With the industrial estate across the railway on its far right, the scene of this area seems not as pretty as S1 as what I expect. But as the river does not cross this position, so that we do not have to concern about the threat from the flood.

    To sum up, the two estates both have the advantage of being close to the city centre, which may bring them with their most consumers. But as the location distinctions, they do have various merits and drawbacks in different extents. The developers have to analyse causiously and make the final decision.

    February 4, 2020 at 3:53 am

    Score: 81.4

    I will get back to you shortly.

    February 4, 2020 at 2:25 pm

    Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

    https://writersforme.com/forums/topic/below-is-a-map-of-the-city-of-brandfield-202001207/

    The map shows two areas in the city of Brandfield that were proposed to be the site of a new shopping mall. For contrast, we regard them as S1 and S2. (repeated information from the question, unnecessary)

    S1 is located in the northern part of the city, nearby the housing estate. A road runs through it, with the (article error) river adjacent to its right. This location has the merit of portable (adjective error) transportation, which might bring the shopping mall with good traffic advantages (simplify), (start new sentence here) whereas (wrong word, use ‘however’) as it is near to a (unnecessary) river, at specific peaks of the year, (unnecessary) the mall may suffer from the (unnecessary) floods due to the impact of turbulent (weather).

    The place (unnecessary) S2 supposed to be more peaceful (missing verb in this sentence). With the industrial estate across the railway on its far right, the scene of (unnecessary) this area seems (is) not as pretty as S1 as what I expect (unnecessary). But as the river does not cross this position, so that (unnecessary) we do not have to concern (worry) about the threat from the flood (floods).

    To sum up (In summary), the two estates both have the advantage of being close to the city centre, which may bring them with their most consumers (unnecessary). But as the location distinctions (distinct location), they do have various merits and drawbacks in different extents (areas). The developers have to analyse causiously (spelling) and make the final decision.

    kelly wu
    University: Beijingjingshanschool
    Nationality: China
    February 5, 2020 at 6:13 am

    thank you, by the way, what is the difference between whereas and however?